I am so sorry you are going through this! I know EXACTLY how you feel! My H left me TWICE in the middle of the night over the summer. Left notes on the table in the middle of the night - stuff like "I'm sorry I screwed us up" "don't wait up for me" "I'll call you when I can" etc. etc. I would wake up in the middle of the night and he would be gone. I know how you feel.
Sweetie, PAMPER yourself - with HIS money!
Breathe deeply.
Eat something.
Try and sleep.
Keep yourself busy.
Make a plan of action to get yourself on an even keel.
Give him ALL of the space he wants. Give him enough rope to run around with and hang himself with (figuratively, not literally).
Walk away FROM him. Don't kick him out or force him to leave. Demand him to treat you like you deserve to be treated. My IC told me that it takes more strength and shows more power to walk away from a relationship than it does to force someone else out of it. You have options. Use them.
You can legally change the lock on the home even though he is still on the mortgage. In the state of NJ, an affair is considered ABANDONMENT of the relationship. His letter is legal PROOF that he has abandoned you.
Don't forget to eat and sleep! You will feel better if you eat something - even if it's half a sandwich.
We are all here to support you and care for you!
Hugs, Em
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
