This is not to say we should be doormats, but have anough strength and confidence to be able to respond appropriately to the other person.
That's a great point angelica. I'm going to remember that one. After all, confidence (although not over-confidence) is an attractive trait on anyone. I realize that when I'm not acting kindly towards H, it's because I feel like I'm coming in second to ogre - when I KNOW that she's not even in the same division as me. Not even close.
That being said, my 'tactic' (I hate calling it that) now is to totally detach from him to let him feel that I'm no longer an option. I don't think he will ever come back if he believes I want him to. He has to win me back. I have to be a challenge to him. I'm giving him exactly what his MLC mind thinks he wants. So I am living my life as if what he says is for real - that he's never coming back.
