You know you. Are/were you abusive? If the answer is no, let it go and prepare for an ugly ride.
Unfortunately alleging abuse is a common tactic in divorce strategies. She may have even convinced herself that it is true. It's that re-writing marital history in order to be able to view you in absolute negatives. It enables her to "justify" her actions. As the adult child of an alcoholic, she probably knows the language pretty well.
My advice to you is to do what it takes legally to preserve your parental rights and to get your finances worked out. Then stay away from her. Pick up/drop off the kids, and that's it. Don't call, don't email, don't talk unless it is about the kids' welfare. Give her time and space to work some of her own issues out.
