She's ready to move on

[Michael Mc C]

Thanks DRZ. I guess that's the point I'm at now, can I become detached enough while sharing the house with my wife?

There are times that I feel I am detached as her actions and general behavior don't affect me in any way. There are other times, however, that I cannot help but wish there was something I could do or say to show her that what she's doing appears so ridiculous to everyone that knows her. I haven't been able to find that full detachment yet. Maybe that comes only after consistently taking small steps over time.

I've been in this for only 4 months, a drop in the bucket compared to others on this board. As "calm" as things are right now I'm sure sometime in the near future things will get shaken up again. Either she'll reconnect with OM, find a new "soulmate", further decline in her childish behavior, etc.

If she moves out I believe I will be able to detach easier but of course not overnight. Her lifestyle and her choices would not be flaunted and my kids and I would be able to begin to pick up the pieces, begin our new routines and move forward with life.

If I can detach enough while she's here, however, then I'll be able to focus more on myself and the kids and she'll see first hand how I am able to live my life and find happiness regardless of her antics. There really isn't anything stopping us (me and the kids) from starting our new routines now and continuing to move forward even if she is here.

It remains a toss-up in my mind. I love this woman, I usually enjoy her company and we have been having some great discussions again (nothing about the marriage). She slept in my bed last night - there was nothing of great importance to that, although she did seek out my feet with hers (not sure if I've posted that before but that was one our 'things'). I'm sure it was just out of habit or comfort, nothing with any real meaning attached.

Some days I'm convinced she has to leave and other days I feel that it would be best to take advantage of what I have now. There is no rush getting her out of here as long as I don't end up feeling like a doormat.