It isn't about what you vowed if the other person wasn't really available to make the vow. That is what annulment is about. I'm not saying you have to end this but my red flags are up all over the place. Trust me. I know what it is to follow up a disastrous first M (of 11 years) with a M to an LD man. The thing is that my H isn't rude or shaming, he is a great partner to me in every way except sex. I respect him because there is a lot to respect him for.
However, I know that you will not listen to me because you don't want to "fail" at marriage again. I know because when I hear you talk I know where you are coming from. Since you won't listen I will say this piece of advice - Sex is not the problem. Go get some personal counseling.
