Back at DB/new marriage new WAW part 2

[Atlas]

"and I Effing need you more then ever..."

Lol!

[smith18]

I cant believe your W would be so stupid to write such a letter which could be used against her. She has really hurt her cause in getting custody. A mediator and a judge would easily see that she is not going to be a very good parent in getting your kids through a divorce.

Let her hang herself. Start documenting everything.

How do you think she would handle herself in a one on one session with a mediator? My brothers ex actually theatened to kick the mediator's a$$ if she did not recommend custody for her. This was immediately followed with a visit to the court room where the judege ruled in favor of my bother. The mediator was present with an armed guard next to her in the court.

[ann25]

WOW... she has officially dived off the deep end. Like Mako said, even if she is right, she's only hurting herself by putting all that in writing. I personally think (based on what you've said here) that you've been a great dad and are simply protecting your children from their crazy mother within the confines of the law. Just me though.

She is absolutely miserable. Sadly, i'm sure she believes what she is writing to you. This is probably because if she takes the blame for any of it, she'll have to take the blame for all of it (concerning the kids, not the M problems) and she can't handle that. This has to be someone elses fault, may as well be yours. I find it funny that she is critisizing the competancy of who you chose to let watch the children when a judge said she shouldn't even be able to. hmmmm? yeah, she's crazy. She seriously needs to see an IC and probably get on some meds.

I liked your response. She wants to get something back from you. She wants you to blow up at her. She is looking for something to use against you. Don't know how you feel about it, but possibly you could send her an email saying something like this:

W:

The kids will be at (location) from (time) to (time) on the (days). Please let me know when you will come see them at least the day before as the nanny would like to schedule outings.

DH

don't know if that would work (think you might have already told her something like that) but it would be something in writing to squash what she claims.

No judge in their right mind could look at all the hatred and anger in that email and feel that it would be a healthy environment for the kids. Just hang in there, there's not much else you can do.

[dh4320]

Thanks Kerry, Anne and atlas,

We tried a mediation, didnt work W wanted more than we agree to so i quashed the whole thing. Ya no judge is going to read my simple amicable email ten read hers and say the kids should be with their mother. THe individual that stayed with the kids is a peace officer friend of mine, yet he doesnt have any kids he has 6 nieces and nephews he can hold a bottle and change a diaper and my S has a lot of fun with him. I would have written that back to her but at this point nothing i send her really sets in. She is trying to justify her actions and again nothing is going her way so instead of trying to work with me she thinks she will get more done attacking me, she knows i have a kind heart but i am standing strong with this sitch and her attacks. Went by my Attorneys office and asked him if he read her latest email, he is loving it she is digging her own grave all she is doing is making our case easier.

I do thinks she has embedded in her head what she writes is all true to her, everyone else who knows us has told her he is not that way. So again the attacks hit but dont stick.

[ann25]

DH - I'm really glad you don't let any of that stuff get to you. I can't imagine it's easy getting that from her, but good job on taking it for what it is rather than a letting it effect your PMA.

[dh4320]

Thank you anne and everyone here,

Nothing new to report i think she will be dark like every weekend since the wedding singer usually has his crappy gigs at some lame joint getting paid next to nothing, tonight i am enjoying a peaceful night at home tomorrow i have a C session and i am going to bring my laptop so he can read some of her emails and get his point of view as well.

[dh4320]

Just got this email from W:


I'm still patiently waiting for Natlies number so that I can speak with her about visiting my children.

I am not going to respond she needs to talk to me or her attorney about visitation not the nanny.

[Atlas]

dh,

If you gave her the nanny's phone number, would that endanger the order? If not, give it to her. Then she can set up times and see the kids, which they need. Also it shows an effort on your part. But don't if it violates the order.

[dh4320]

Atlas,

it does not directly violate the order but on the other hand it can show the judge i am passing off responsibility and she needs to do things by the book, why shouldnt she arrange visitation through her attorney or me, iam not trying to be difficult but i am trying to keep things by the book. The nanny even told me she is nervous about the situation and i shouldnt put that kind of pressure on her this is not her problem. So i will not give that number to the W she can set things up the way she "knows" she needs to she is trying to go around the fence...

[mako]

I agree dh. It's not your job to make things easier for her, and putting the nanny in the middle isn't good either. W knows what she is supposed to do to visit the kids, let her do it by the book. It might be different if she was more amicable, but if she's going to be flying off the handle like that then it sounds best to make her follow the proper channels...just be sure to be receptive to her if she does follow the proper channels, so that folks like the judge can see that you are playing fair and square and by the book.