When my H was in his deepest depression he had lost all interest in almost everything.
I agree that you should let her know where you are looking and what is going on w/ your moving.
Well, W just left - D ended up staying with me tonight because it got too late (how's that for co-parenting!). W is coming over tomorrow to hang out and help me pack up stuff. We didn't make official by any standard, but next weekend she's going to help me move out of here and move in with her for a while.
Now for the fun stuff - W is a wreck. Hardly ate, came home and spend forever in the bathroom, didn't hardly talk or have any fun. She faked it pretty good, especially with D, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it at all. We went out for dinner together, drove by a couple of houses I've been looking at, stopped at her house to change D. W has obviously been spending a lot of time working on organizing and cleaning up her house.
We had a number of strange conversations over dinner. She told me that I 'need to get laid' - I made a joke about her talking about that the other day, and she just laughed and said 'you know how frigid I am'. She talked a little about OM, but said stuff about his gf and some other girl he is trying to date. I don't know if it's a line of BS or what... Guess it doesn't make any difference. W said she's going to be like her 50yr old single neighbor.
Random stuff
1) W was really impressed with the house I'm trying to get. She said 'That's a cute house. Better than a dump I live in'. Her place is small, but it is very nice and well maintained. I'd be happy living there if it was mine. Of course, that comment fell on deaf ears.
2) W told me repeatedly about her money woes. She couldn't afford D's daycare last month, and she said she can't pay it this month either. I told her if I stay with her, I'd pick up her rent next month - She didn't like that idea too much, but she didn't all out refuse. She's not paid her rent this month yet ($785 rent, $1k in her checking account right now), and I doubt she'll be able to afford it until next pay period (2 weeks from now).
3) W speaks in absolute negatives about herself. She compliments me and makes comments about how successful I am and how well I am doing. I asked her how she was doing this week - Said she was 'doing okay'. So I asked her how she was really doing, and if her anti-depressant medication was helping. 'not so good'. Said she was feeling really 'blah' and didn't have any interest in anything anymore.
When she left she just picked up her stuff and wandered out the door. I stopped her and gave her a hug, a kiss and told her ILY. She looked at me with empty eyes - Not just devoid of love, but totally lacking any spark of life. First time in almost three months she hasn't reached out to me for affection when we are together. She didn't push me away or say anything about it, but it was like there was nothing there at all.
Feels more like MLC than anything right now. It's really difficult - Two weeks ago, just before Christmas, we had an AWESOME weekend, followed by a really good Christmas together. She was kind, generous, affectionate, interested in me and D, then within the space of a couple of days she just dropped off the planet completely. Hell, she didn't even ask about D this morning until I brought her up mid-afternoon. She ALWAYS used to ask how she slept, if she got to school okay and everything else.
I have a feeling I'm going to feel a lot different when I move - Even packing stuff up here and looking at somewhere new gives me a feeling of 'refreshment'. I really wish W had experienced the same clarity and excitement for life when she moved.
Any ideas how to deal with this? Obviously everything I've been doing for the last three months isn't going to work, since she's just checked out of life completely.
