I am happy to see that you are working on taking care of yourself and your kids. That is really the only thing you can do in this situation. Let her bear the consequences of her decisions.
Nobody wants his/her kids to grow up as the children of divorce. If you didn't care about that you wouldn't be here. The point I was trying to make is that she will get out if she really wants out, irrespective of what you do or don't do. Sacrificing yourself is not going to make her want you back. All it does is needlessly separate you from your kids and drain the resources available to you to take care of them.
I'm a believer in kids having both parents raise them. In your situation, it looks to me like they are being deprived of your influence, love and time because your wife has her head in the clouds. You may or may not be able to repair the marriage but you can be the best dad ever, no matter what she decides. I'm glad you are working toward that.
Patience does not necessarily mean sacrificing yourself and/or your time with your kids. It just means leaving the door open.
