In a perfect world, try to get him to go to the same counselor, maybe you visit, then he visits, etc. There's SOMETHING going on for him to be so perfectly nice guy one minute, then doing these other unloving behaviors the next. Maybe a counselor can figure out the issues between you two if he/she hears both sides with the other person not there.
You said he has not interest in sex AT ALL, but he has had so much sex in his life? has dated strippers? suggested a swinger's convention?? He doesn't sound uninterested in sex, he sounds uninterested in what he is considering "boring" or "marital" sex perhaps. I'm sorry, I can tell this is hurting you and confusing you. Get out the phone book and make an appt. And buy DR, like Red suggested.
