Still hopeful for some pleasant surprises

[SirPrizeMe]

NutFarmer, you're right. Why would she make changes?

The good news is I have been moving forward on the consequences part. My attorney is drafting a letter as we speak with a proposal for us to split my income. This will give me the opportunity to get a house for myself where I can spend quality time with my kids. It will also mean a real cut in lifestyle for her.

You're also right in that I protected her from the consequences. I'm a lover not a fighter. I really don't want this to be happening, so yes, I am avoiding it. But no longer. This will take longer than I like, but it is happening now.

Am I living in fear? I don't know if fear is the word. I don't want my kids to grow up as children of divorce. Is that fear? Doesn't feel like it to me. Aversion, maybe. Distaste?

But regardless, it is true that my wife is dictating the terms. That's the way it goes with MLC, isn't it? "Patience" has been my mantra. I guess maybe I can carry it too far.

I really believe she is not dating the guy anymore. I think maybe she would like to be dating him, but honestly he is 3 states away, and he hangs out in bars and dates women who are right in front of him. He has his pick of the litter. Why would he want to bother with a long-distance R with my W, mother of 4, who is unable to come out and play at a moment's notice, unable to get drunk any night of the week? So that R is not happening, romantically, I believe it. But she hasn't backed away from him - she is "still friends" with him, etc etc. I think she clings to him as an act of defiance to me. a power play, as you see.

I still thank you. Truly.