What you are missing is this. Your husband has deep, personal issues that have nothing to do with you. He is disrespectful to you and not available for a R let alone a marital R. If you haven't been married long then I wouldn't take the counseling route. If you have then I guess give it a go. I am suspicious of a guy who won't ML with you but makes a big to do about ex gf's and strippers and such. That is just my gut talking.
How long have you known him? How long have you been married? How long were you D before you met?
