No matter how much a person works towards improving themselves (i.e. becoming a "better" person, improving relationship skills, attractiveness, etc...), it doesn't mean a spouse will notice, or appreciate, or change their mind about leaving. It's merely one's best chance of changing the dynamics and possibly getting a spouse to see the other person, and the marriage from a more positive perspective. But in the end, self-improvement has to be something you do for yourself.
The challenge is, I think she partly left because of self-esteem issues. She was always comparing herself to me and feeling inadequate. If I go off and improve myself, how will that help her?
This is the dilemma I have. If what she needs me to be is more attentive to her, more complimentary and truly appreciative of her, then, how do I go about doing that if I follow the "maintain distance" and "improve yourself" guidelines?
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
