Why I am the Way I Am

[MJontheMend]

To further clarify my current position/philosophy. If a man won't admire my cow or pet my bunny or spank my monkey, I won't break any commitments I may have made to him or myself but I will make it abundantly clear that I no longer hold him to any commitments he may have made to me. His paper will become worthless in my bank.

[MJontheMend]

Babbling on...another way to say it might be that there is more than one way to draw a boundary. You can say "I will not stay in a sexless marriage" or you can say "I'll be having sex with you 3x a week. You, of course, know where the door is if you don't like it."

[LustForLife]

You can say "I will not stay in a sexless marriage" or you can say "I'll be having sex with you 3x a week. You, of course, know where the door is if you don't like it."

I don't think the latter is possible without consent of the other person MJ. You can't exactly force someone to have sex with you, especially us females.
It all comes back to attraction....or something....you need to find what gets each other's juices flowing. Both ways, not just one way.
LFL

[Stigmata]

Mojo-

You crack me up.

You know something. When I was a boy riding horses on our farm I learned they are not so dumb as some would believe. For instance, if I were to place a loaded cart in front of our quarter hourse and encourage him to push it, he would just stand there, shake his head in disgust, and paw his hoof at my ignorance.

I insist that a man treats me well and offers me his protection while I am in his company but it's up to him to ask me to commit and my decision will not be based on those factors alone.

Yes, quite the little paradox you've set up for yourself there Mojo. Is that another forum hair shirt I see over there by that Beyonce hoodie? Hmmm?

What, exactly, are your swains supposed to ask you to commit to? Dang. Sounds like a nice setup. Why on Earth would a guy want to mess it all up by commiting to you?

To further clarify my current position/philosophy. If a man won't admire my cow or pet my bunny or spank my monkey, I won't break any commitments I may have made to him or myself but I will make it abundantly clear that I no longer hold him to any commitments he may have made to me. His paper will become worthless in my bank.

Thanks for the clarification, Mo. I like that C word. Hm, and, oops, look, there's that other pesky C word popping its head up again -- commitment.

Now I'm just giving you a much-needed man's perspective around here, Mojo. I know how you Fs like to get all gooey and sticky in your overly romanticized notions of swains, suitors, dalliances, and Romano-Gothic dark alleys that get so many of you into such pickles (sorry LFL couldn't resist).

(Stigmata pulls out a glinting pin from his back pocket and pokes the F fantasy bubble)

*POIT!*

Here's how I would look at your profile should I be foolish enough to lower my standards in terms of F availability (easy, not in terms of your appeal zoo girl):

Cool. Look at this one. Check her pic and her saucy emails. Best part? Dude, she's separated. Best of both worlds. I'm gonna respond to her right now.

I get a 40-something F, who's probably not looking to have my baby, lots of hot sex and, best part?....

drum roll...

Zero commitment expectations from me since she's married and separated.^5

"I'd say that's a nice buffer to F her silly after probably a lot of years to make up for from her M and she won't go all 'I want a commitment from you blah blah blah ... you're just a player blah blah blah.'"

Might want to turn that horse around if you happen across some foolish swain you realy really like, my anthropromorphically zoologically obsessed lassie

(no zoo-inspired dog pun there, Mojo; that would require me to capitalize the "L," silly) *smirk(

-Stigmata-

[MJontheMend]

I don't think the latter is possible without consent of the other person MJ. You can't exactly force someone to have sex with you, especially us females. \:\/

Well, I'm not really prepared to defend that statement because on second thought it isn't really what I meant but....OTOH, as a female who is mostly submissive and wants sex 3x a week, I could for example:

1) On Monday bend over naked in front of my partner and wiggle until he either f*cks me or leaves the room.

2) On Wednesday slowly unbutton my shirt in front of my partner and play with my nipples until he either helps me out or leaves the room.

3) On Friday (feeling a bit dominant) rub my clit up against his ass cheek in bed and reach round and say "This is mine".

Then if on Sunday he says "I'm out of here if you don't stop this behavior." I can say "Bye-Bye."

[LustForLife]

*POIT!*

LOL!

I've never seen the sound of a popping bubble written out like. That was perfect.

I know how you Fs like to get all gooey and sticky in your overly romanticized notions of swains, suitors, dalliances, and Romano-Gothic dark alleys that get so many of you into such pickles (sorry LFL couldn't resist).

I am a hopeless romantic Stig. I won't be ashamed to say it. It does get me in pickles though.


LFL

[LustForLife]

Then if on Sunday he says "I'm out of here if you don't stop this behavior." I can say "Bye-Bye.

Well, as a fellow submissive, I don't think I could pull off those 3 points and still keep my sense of...self respect?....pride?....if my H didn't respond back.
And what if he doesn't say "I'm outta here?" Eventually YOU are the one responsible MJ. Why keep putting the decision off on him, right? But I guess that's why you stayed in your M so long. It's complicated when you have a life invested.
It will certainly be much easier to pull off with your new suitors.

LFL

[MJontheMend]

Yes, quite the little paradox you've set up for yourself there Mojo. Is that another forum hair shirt I see over there by that Beyonce hoodie? Hmmm?

What, exactly, are your swains supposed to ask you to commit to? Dang. Sounds like a nice setup. Why on Earth would a guy want to mess it all up by commiting to you?

LOL- Well, obviously he needs to ask me to commit to not moving on to the next guy who appreciates even more what a nice setup it is- duh. Can't count on endless free milk if the cows still up for sale. I'm cool with a guy being polygamous even though I'm monogamous as long as it's understood that my monogamy is only serial until I'm asked to commit. Also, strong monkey might do some damage to a boy's ability to be polygamous whilst sharing my company. Plus, sometimes it's hard for a guy to deal with the thought of a future lacking in quality time with my pilgrim soul which although it is not actually to be found between my legs tends to leave a relationship along with what is found there when my boots get to walking.

Here's how I would look at your profile should I be foolish enough to lower my standards in terms of F availability (easy, not in terms of your appeal zoo girl):

Cool. Look at this one. Check her pic and her saucy emails. Best part? Dude, she's separated. Best of both worlds. I'm gonna respond to her right now.

I get a 40-something F, who's probably not looking to have my baby, lots of hot sex and, best part?....

drum roll...

Zero commitment expectations from me since she's married and separated.^5

"I'd say that's a nice buffer to F her silly after probably a lot of years to make up for from her M and she won't go all 'I want a commitment from you blah blah blah ... you're just a player blah blah blah.'"

Well, because you really are a nice guy, you make it clear to a girl that you aren't a nice guy when you respond to her profile, right? I only respond to men who signal St.Bernard AND Wolf. I am open to the possibility of commitment but not insisting on it from every guy I f*ck or fall "in love" with (my profile is sadly lacking in statements such as "I don't play games") and I want to hook up with guys who are operating from a similar position. Believe it or not, GP was not "playing" me. He really does want to get married at this point in his life and he was seriously infatuated with me for a while so was considering me as a candidate. Yup, men get foolishly infatuated too. Funny world we live in. You, of course, are impervious to that kind of thing being all currently wolf-like and therefore invulnerable. The thing that isn't computing with you, I know, is that I remained highly sexually attracted to GP even though he was rather foolishly infatuated with me. Could it be that he was manifesting strong wolf AND puppy at the same time? How is that possible?

[karen1]

MJ,

That is one of the least "submissive" examples of submission I've seen in a while. Interesting ideas though. It is things that are far more "submissive" than that which have been described as "pressure" or being "forced to have sex" by my H. Wonder what would happen if I said, "Ummm so.......how about you force yourself and we'll see what happens or alternatively, Ummmmmmm fcuk you I wouldn't want you with that attitude anyway."

My little baby boy is clearly an alpha in the making. I "wrestle him" several times/day - to get diapers or clothes on, to take away various inappropriate things that he is intent on eating, to remove him from places where he is definitely going to get hurt and he howls in anger. Wonder what takes a little boy like this and makes him into a guy who won't own all of himself??? No answer necessary.

Karen

[MJontheMend]

Well, as a fellow submissive, I don't think I could pull off those 3 points and still keep my sense of...self respect?....pride?....if my H didn't respond back.
And what if he doesn't say "I'm outta here?"

I should repeat that I'm not really down with this scenario. This isn't a good analogy to how I've "dug my own well" sexually but...I would say that obviously it shows a lack of differentiation if your H's response to those behaviors determines your self-respect or pride. I would think that you were pretty confident and cool to be able to do those things with no response and I would bet the bank that if you acted like you were confident and cool when you did them you would either get f8cked or your H would go.

Actually, since I mentioned it I would say that gaining self-awareness that what I really most want from a man is what I might call affectionate-man-handling is what has allowed me to dig my own sexual well and the three behaviors I listed above wouldn't get me what I want which isn't exactly sex but certainly can be. However, there are behaviors which I can manifest that will get me what I want in the normal course of things for the same reason.