Hello..newcomer here that is just dealing with a really tough time. Even writing this post is very difficult.
About 1 month ago, my wife and I had an argument about the excessive spending she was doing and the argument turned very ugly. She mentioned that she wasnt ready when my daughter was born (now 2yrs old) and wasnt ready to marry me and that she was going to take my daughter and they will leave me. I was shocked and confused as I thought everything was great between us. Though I knew that we had many bad arguments in the past, I just never knew she was feeling this way. From then on, things got tougher, For 3 weeks I kept trying and telling her that I love her and to ask her to stay and wanted to know more of what she was mad at me for and that I wanted to try and understand her more. She said she would stay but she didnt want to. She kept saying she needed space and that she wanted to live her life on her own. This went on for 3 weeks straight, with me trying to find out how I can help my wife and show her I love her. There were some signs but my love and trust for her was too great to see them such as her coming home late from work ALOT, like every night. She never used to do this prior to a few months ago. She would always be on the computer and not talk to me much. Hiding her cell phone..etc. I thought maybe she was talking to one of her friends about the problems she was feeling as she sometimes does. Ive been coming home earlier and earlier from work to take care of our daughter since she wasnt home much to see her after work. One night it was getting too late so I looked out the window to see if her taxi would come and she would come out. I then saw a car park at the end of the block from our home and it just stayed there. I didnt think anything of it. but when the car drove past our house I knew the car belonged to her ex-coworker. I then saw her walk from the direction from where the car was parked. Then my world started to come down on me. I confronted. She told me that she came home in a taxi. I told her that I saw his car. I asked her how long.. she said two months. After crying and asking why why why. She kept just saying sorry but with no remorse. I asked her to work with me on our marriage and that this was not the answer and she said she cant stop seeing him that she loved him. I tried to understand her and tell her I love her. Since then she kept planning for a new apartment. This week she found one and signed the yr lease on the apartment. She is still seeing this OM. He is also married to his pregnant wife and from what she told me, she is waiting for him to leave his wife and that he doesnt want to tell his wife right now since he doesnt want her to be stressed and loose the baby. I have not a clue what to do. I've made the most common mistakes of begging, pleading and crying to her. Yes, i know now it doesnt work. I am now just nice to her and offer her my support. I stopped telling her much of how much I love her but its so hard. She is leaving in two weeks. I am afraid and just have no one to turn two.
Two weeks ago, I started taking her out to places I knew she always wanted to go with me. I saw that she was having fun and enjoyed it but each time I saw that she felt very happy, I see her also push her happy feelings back and say "you know I love OM right?"
She still is nice to me but that I feel is only because she feels bad for me but keeps saying im just a friend and a good provider and nothing more.
I am lost and unsure of anything these days. days are mostly hard but I still manage a smile a few times a day. I am unsure of what to do. I ordered the book but have not recieved it yet. I feel as if time is fleeting and just am looking for any help.
