JMW,
My opinion, no e-mail. She already knows all that. It's time to take off the gloves and fight for what you think is right. Don't go overboard but don't roll over. Maybe just maybe she will respect you more for that. Ifyou think it will help, call her and tell her you want to resolve this amicably and need a face to face.
Just my humble opinion reading your posts.
Keep your chin up.