Sorry you're here but it's a good place to get advice. If you've been reading posts you probably already know that there is nothing you can do to convince her to stop seeing the OM. It's sad but true. This is something she feels she needs to do and regardless of the amount of time spent in your marriage/relationship there will be no remorse, not now anyway.
Blowing the lid off of the affair does not always work out the way you expect. OM may not care if his W, or the world, knows. In the end this could very well push your W and OM together.
I don't recommend leaving the house. If she wants out, she should leave. I can't provide any legal advice of course so you should speak with an attorney just to understand your rights and to get an idea of what MIGHT be needed in the future.
You really do have to work on yourself because in the end, no matter what happens, you have to be happy with YOU. Do it for you and do it for your kids. NOT for your wife.
H4C and Ohio_Mark both have a great handle on things you should do to help you through this. I saw a post from Mark yesterday (see link below) that I think will help (roles are reversed but the message still applies).
(Mark, I'll send you royalties for the use of your work...)
