Done that. He just got mad and said, "Oh, so you are saying we are headed for divorce? You don't think I love you?" Nothing change except he entered another shame/denial/hiding phase.
What I hope is different about what I am trying to say is that I want to own my inaction and tell him the reason for it, I want to tell him what I will do going forward and that there is a time limit on my efforts - I don't know how long. I also want to tell him that if there is a problem it is not necessarily a deal breaker. I wonder sometimes if there is something going on that he suspects is a deal breaker so he just keeps hiding.
