He has been going through a divorce for the past 18 months and we had a long talk. His W is the one that had all of the self esteem problems and an A.
She has been doing everything she can to make this hell for him. i thought that this was the case... black and white... until I was listening to him talk.
She has been very manipulative and he is tired and has become very bitter.
The realtionship has in the last 18 months deteriorated to the point that they don't talk and when they do it is anger and even if they are the slight bit nice they look to see when it will get ugly.
I was thinking about what I have learned from this forum and how far I have come to learn about how my H is feeling and what he has to be going through.MLC
How by reading the book DB ,I have such a different perspective on the issues that arise. Not that I'm a pro by any means but that I can step back before saying something that would be counterproductive to the relationship.
I feel although it ha been slow at times at least I have been moving forward.
They have not moved forward in a way that I would be happy.They are so stuck in the anger stage.
They may be living apart but the anger holds them together and stops the from moving forward.
When I came home last night, before my H came home from work I realized that maybe I wasn't at the stage that BIL was at, living apart, but that I was very much happier with myself.
When H came in the door I wanted to hug him and tell him thanks. ( I didn't though, didn't want to scare him!) Thanks for letting me look at myself and not be angry or bitter, although sometimes I do get angry, I try to move forward and use it as a stepping stone.
I really want to thank all that post here, the learning and experience has brought me where I am today. Whenever this ends and wherever this takes me I am glad for the journey that has made me the person that I am today.
Thanks Friends Judy
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
