Late for work but have been trying to do a little catch up on your stitch. I think your W is like I was.....she is just now trying to reach a point that she is willing to be willing.
Quote:
"Let me back things up a little, W spent the previous night in other town at relatives with FIL & D6, the town where she first met OM. However at this point I make no assumptions or accusations. When W returned she had a face like a slapped ass, she was in a down mood, she didn't want to take up any of the many new year celebrations offers which we had, she just wanted to stay indoors in her night gown and watch a movie."
My first thouhts here were that she faced that the R with OM was really over. You have to realize that she is going to grieve for this man! I know that must be terrible hard for a H to accept, but it is just what it is! That is why she doesn't appear to be wanting to put 100% into the M. My H had the same complaint about me, but my heart was still with OM at the time and it was all I could do just to stay physically in the M.
Regarding asking for a hug......I don't know that I agree about this for a man. It may be okay for a female to ask for a hug b/c she is seen as the weaker vessal, so to speak......so what does that say for a man? I never liked for a boy to ask if he could kiss me, I just wanted him to do it or at least try it...lol. I know it is much more complicated in this situation, but I think you must give it much more time before you can expect much physical interaction. She has got to get through that grieving process. It took a lot longer than three months for me and I didn't have a PA. I think she will give you signals when she is ready for the touchy-touchy stuff.
I am concerned about all the spending she is doing. If you have the finances, that is fine if that is what you want, but if not...please be careful. You are trying to make her happy....you know she loves to shop, therefore she has you over a barrell. She could take advantage of you very easily. She may be tring to fill up her "empty" feeling of getting over the OM through shopping. Again....please be very careful.
I would like to talk more, but have to go to work.
Take care.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
