Hi everyone, have only been on these boards for a few months, but what i have read on this thread about MLC is so true for my W. She found her high school boyfriend on the internet about 9 months ago, and thinks that she is hiding everything from everyone. She just turned 50, cut her hair, bought new clothes, and is really living a double life. She is so pleasant around my D20 and S18, and her family, yet when she is home I can tell she is miserable. She is a well respected director of a local church affiliated nursing home, and i am sure that if people found out, her "good" name would be tarnished. OM lives about 100 miles away and they email and text message each other all day. She has "visited" the area where he lives in the guise of going shopping, etc. Lately, especially over the holidays, she was especially grouchy and just plain bitchy, and i suspect it is b/c she didnt have the attention of OM b/c he was spending the time with his W and family. I have found email addresses of the OM's wife, and have found that she was checking out OM's emails on classmates while she was on D20 laptop. Could this be the unraveling of the A? She filed for D in August, and he hasnt kept up his part of the bargain. This guy is a snake and I am sure that he no intentions of leaving his family, and it wouldnt surprise me that he has others in his stable also. I know what sucked my W in at the time they found each other on the internet, he was having major surgery and she was the Mothering type to him. I checked with my L the other day on what is happening with the D, and he told me that he has received nothing from them as to the D. Strange, but he said it could be that the W is scared to go any further, but is also scared to go back. He said that it is unusual this long into the D filing that nothing is progressing. Maybe with all kinds of questions about her lover, she may be beginning to realize this fantasty is just what it is, fantasy. One question I have for all of you with kids young and older. Did you tell them about the affair, or did they find out on their own? I have been struggling with telling them, as it may drive the W away, also they already see the moods and the way the W treats me, and my S already knows his mom is lying when he overheard her telling others that we decided this a few years ago and waited until they were out of high school to seperate. They are already hurting, and i dont want to hurt them further. Any ideas? Thanks.
