lwb, have you thought about having her meet with a child therapist? just on the offchance that there is some anxiety involved. not saying that's it, just saying if you are looking to rule stuff out, it might help. can't hurt.
if she's super sensitive, she might be sensing the shifts between you and h, even though I know you guys are being careful around the kids.
I don't know, just throwing that out there. have you been open to her doctors about the changes at home? I don't mean telling them your h is having an affair and such, but just about any changes your d may have seen/picked up on?
whatever it ends up being, I hope you find an answer soon, and hope its a smooth/easy fix. poor baby. (((HUGS)))
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I keep looking back on the summer and the bomb thinking to myself "What should I have done differently?".
Know what ya mean here. Wondering if you handled things the "right" way and all. I used to go back and replay the early days but I realized that there's absolutely nothing I can do but learn from any mistakes I may have made.
Quite frankly, I don't believe there are mistakes in this. We're human and we will react the way we have been programmed to. Luckily this site has helped us identify what it is that we're prone to do that doesn't help.
Sorry to hear your D is still having troubles. My D11 has had an upset stomach now for 3 days. I'm hoping it's only a bug and not anxiety related.
Latest Thread
Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
Our d6 is going to a counsellor roughly fortnightly. I don't know what they talk about but she likes going - says she likes playing with the toys. I've talked briefly with the counsellor and she has told me that d knows what's going on and picks on my tension/stress when h is around. Wish I could change that but he is unpredictable in what he is going to say or do and I'm on tenterhooks waiting to see if he'll give me the advance warning that I'm after for or not. You might want to look into it. I feel better that I'm not just expecting her to cruise along and cope. This way she gets to talk to someone that is there just for her and d6 doesn't have to feel that she has to hide anything (I hope).
At the moment, it's Thursday night and h will have d6 this w/e. I messaged him yesterday to ask him what time he will pick up d6 and whether we can talk about the parenting plan I gave him on Sunday. He said this afternoon when he called that he hasn't had a chance to think about it. *sigh* I don't know if I'll have d6 Saturday morning or if he wants to pick her up early. I feel like I can't plan anything because if I do he'll leap on it and say I'm making things difficult for him. Damned if I plan for myself (and get accused of being selfish) and resentful if I don't. Sorry...little hijack.
I have a free afternoon now (D6's appt bumped back, they want to talk to her some more first, waiting for a call) and I found Hope and we are meeting for lunch! Yay!
I told H of my plans (lunch with a friend) and instead of his snippy comments, he looked sad/worried. He bought that huge TV I had mentioned back awhile ago and we were sitting at the desk talking when I told him. I was dying to ask WHY he bought this TV, is it for this house or for his dad's? I didn't. I just let him buy it.
Hope, your text this morning literally made him jump. I had my phone on my hip and he was shocked! lol
Anyway, conversation:
Me: I am going to meet a friend for lunch today.
H: Oh. Ok. You know, you don't ask about OW anymore.
Me: I can't. It hurts me to learn anything new. I just need to stay out of it for now.
H: Well, I haven't seen or talked to her in almost 2 weeks, you know.
Me: Oh. (digesting this while appearing oh so casual). Why may I ask?
H: (shrugs shoulders) I don't know. (silence)
Me: You don't have to talk about it, but thanks for telling me.
H: We can talk later.
????????????????
Off to shower and meet my new friend Hope!! WEEEE!
Wow, strange things with H lately, huh. Just when we think they are dead set on their mission to leave, they throw us for a loop. It had to make you wonder, huh?
Hope you have a good day.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
LWB,, Yes it is very interesting to say the least!!!!
You keep on going girl. I like how you are detached getting your own life and yet letting H know you still care by telling him you haven't asked about OW because it hurts. GOOD very good. Lets him know you care about the M without being needy.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Oh I must have got your daughters mixed up. I remember one of them has asthma and seemed to be on antibiotics. I thought maybe the meds could have possibly caused some tummy troubles.
WOW Lwb that is interesting! He seems to want you to know that he isn't seeing her. That is twice he has told you that. I think this is a huge step for him. For some reason he wants you to know. He may be to scared himself to tell you he wants to work on things. I am sure he has guilt beyond belief. He may not know what to do or how to approach this. But for some reason he seems like he is trying.
