trytohard, That is great advice on how to treat my H the next time I run into him,(say hi, be nice, keep walking by)-I love it, as it will communicate my message that I am fine. I think i always confused this before with being overly nice, happy, and peppy to him. Now I see I need to just be satisfied with me and hold my head high cuz I am proud of myself and my decisions. The more I start living that way & with those thoughts , the easier it will be to also feel this way around him. THANK YOU!!! I will make sure not to go too far into things with the inlaws if they have me over soon-but it does feel good to talk/visit with them, so I will be open to seeing them. I hate to say it, but I cried so hard when I read the last part of your reply to me (but I needed to hear it). Its amazing how someone outside looking in, can put into words what I had been thinking about him while he has been in Anger/replay stages of his crisis. Its like I have to admitt to myself that who he is right now is not what I want. We did have 10 truely wonderful years together though, and then our next 3 yrs (while he was going in debt/bancruptcy)have been like hes a total different person & something took over his mind. He had started getting into alcohol when he was about 15(as soon as he could get his hands on it, as alcoholism ran in his family). We drank with our friends throughtout H.S. and college, and we(now just I) still get together with the gang on weekends & have a few drinks. We were kind of party animals while young. For years now, I only have drinks once a week with friends. he used to limit his beer in the first four or so years of our M. But as soon as he went into major debt on a big job, he went balls to the walls with his drinking. He even tried once to get anti- depressants, but gave them up within a few months due to the fact that the mixing of them with his beer was making him sick/major stomach problems. Right now he is very much an Alcoholic. Thanks again for all the help!TIPPER
