From what you've described it seems like you are trying to coerce or control her, and shame her into "wanting" to be married (which would actually push her away).

Also, what type of responsibility does she need to accept? I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. Does she want to stop the divorce and work on the marriage?

If you are both in divorce she can spend time with anyone she likes. I don't mean to sound rude here, but what are you doing to make any woman want to spend time with you?

When I wanted to change my husband's mind, and somehow convince him that divorcing me was a mistake, I had to change me.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.