Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #11

[Punktmann]

Imageer,
However, knowing this should not be at the expense of taking the time to better ourselves.

You're very right about that. I, (many of us,) had a hand in getting here... There is no better time to learn about ourselves, and what went on / wrong.

I have learned so much about Rs since I have been here. I have read about 25 books on the subject.

I'm only at 9, although I have learned much about me, and some about her. What I have learned about me is very helpful, what I have learned about her, not a lot I can do about. I know that I am in position where I have a lot of growing to do in myself.

I know one thing from these readings, I am very tired of the late situation. It is not good for me. It will change with the D, so I am not in a hurry to push things, but this is getting harder to deal with for me.

although losing the second income and having to pay for the igloo by myself really hurts the wallet

This part of my sitch has my utmost attention. I am very nervous about this part.


Anyway, Dobson's book "love must be tough," is a very good book, and for me it is especially important b/c he outlines their rationalizations / excuses, and my W hit each one VERBATIM. (Yes, I am NOT crazy.)

THe reason that this is important to me is that on a daily basis, I waffle between understanding that this is a personality conflict for HER to deal with, and thinking that I am at fault for the marital failure. (why can't our minds deal with "shared responsibility", and not her fault / my fault?)

Anyway, I am nearly through the book, and so far I recommend it strongly. It is not as easy to read as DB/DR, but it makes a lot of sense.


Stay strong my man, and put another coat of ice on that igloo, things are about to melt here. (of course it'll be just in time to screw up my hunting this weekend.)