I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

So, he moved out 9/26. He moved to a town an hour away from me and further from work than where we live now, but closer to his family. He claims there is no OW. He made a point of not taking most of his stuff so that it would be as if he was still here/coming back. He also made a point of saying that we were living apart as opposed to "separated". Since then, he has detached more and more. At first, we were going to get together once or twice a week to keep the connection between us. As the weeks went by, that stopped. In the last couple of months, we have had probably 2 or 3 hours worth of conversation. We normally spend Thanksgiving with his family - I wasn't invited, so I went to Fla to visit a friend. The following weekend I went away again - he took care of our pets and when I got home I realized that he had taken some of his "treasures" that he might have thought I wouldn't notice missing. I started then to lose hope.

His b'day was 12/6 - I invited him out for lunch or dinner over the weekend and he declined. On Sat (12/8) he asked if he could come over to "see the dogs". I learned then that he had a hernia operation on 12/4 - he didn't even tell any of his family. He spent the night in the hospital and went back to work the very next day. During this visit, he brought up R talk. I took the opportunity to tell him that I wanted to be forgiven for my mistakes, forgive him for his and move on to the future. He said he wishes he "knew then" what he knows now. I believe he sees now that I was dealing with my own stuff and not rejecting him, but it seems that he has simply hardened his heart and turned away. Not for the first time - I am his third wife; this is my first (only) M.

We had no plans to see each other for Christmas - he stopped by my office about 2:30 with a gift for me and one from his sister also. No contact for New Year's either - I now call him very seldom and usually only for a specific purpose. He never seems to answer his cell phone anymore. But, NY day I finally called him and left a vm that I just wanted to connect given the occasion. No response, no acknowledgement.