No, my friend. The only thing to lose is your illusion. This is your version of things. Your WYSIWYG.
I do not believe my home and family are illusions. I helped build it. Is it colored by my perception of what it means? Of course it is. That does not mean it is not a tangible asset.
Quote:
You need you. Your WYSIWYG.
Yes, I can survive without anything but myself. That is a far cry from suggesting that the only thing I have to lose are mere possessions and money.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
I do not believe my home and family are illusions. I helped build it. Is it colored by my perception of what it means? Of course it is. That does not mean it is not a tangible asset.
Sweety. Of course they are not. That was not my point.
But your tangible perception also has a counterpart, which is of equal value. Do not disdain it simply because you cannot fathom it. By doing so, you say she has no value... just as you thought that I was saying what you felt had no value. see?
My son came home tonight, after hockey practice. On Thursdays, they go out with Other Parent for dinner (we do one week on, one week off). The fire in the fire place was out, and I was done trying to get it to burn, so I let it go out.
My son came in and said..."so you are done with the fire?"
Me: Yes... Tried. It was burning when you left... I've been tending it... can't keep it going... I let it go out."
And he said... "Well, as dad says, you have to be smarter than whatever it is you are working with."
Sweety. Of course they are not. That was not my point.
But your tangible perception also has a counterpart, which is of equal value. Do not disdain it simply because you cannot fathom it. By doing so, you say she has no value... just as you thought that I was saying what you felt had no value. see?
I don't disagree with you here but you are arguing a point I did not make. My only argument is that often times we have more to lose than money or material possessions. I was simply responding to your (IMHO) fatalistic suggestion that all anyone has to lose in an M or an R is money.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
(Corri) Do not disdain it simply because you cannot fathom it.
Fair point. In Lou's case, my impression is that you're encouraging him to at least partially mold himself into his partner's (non-Other) version of him. I suspect that would be at least as dangerous as him trying to mold her into his (non-Other) version of her.
I have a new pet theory. My old pet theory, "Women don't want to be respected but they want to be valued," is still a theory of mine but can no longer claim pet status. My new pet theory is that the entirety of human wisdom can be gleaned from the comic stylings of Eddie Izzard if one just looks hard enough. For instance, the whole "I acknowledge you as Other vs. I see you as an extension of myself" thing is described in the following 50 second clip, disguised as a bit about Britain and India:
I was simply responding to your (IMHO) fatalistic suggestion that all anyone has to lose in an M or an R is money.
Nope. Not unless that is how you present it. But that is how it was presented. To me. In monecal terms. No offense to him. Thtat's what I got it down to. When it all gets to business, that is what it is.
I remember standing in my kitchen...
It all came down to money. Not what was best for boys. Just where they would be... and how much money it would save. But. I pushed it. That was me.
It all came down to brass taxes... because that is where I pushed it. That is what I got. So I got buisness. I was married to an accountant.
Wow, this thead took off in the last few hours. Thanks for all the feedback.
I was thinking about everything that was said today on here and approached H too talk about it.
If I can't be honest at this point, when can I. So I asked him flat out, "If I had slept with soldier guy, or even the fact that I didn't but wanted to....what would happen to us?"
He paused and said "Nothing can change what we have. You are my soulmate. We are both f@ck-ups in some ways. so what. I love you and want to be with you....happily with you."
I couldn't believe he was saying it. It was romantic and totally hot. I had to have him right then and there but I heard Corri's voice in my damm head telling me I always get what I want and shaking her head(lol) so I decided to forgo the sexual menu and just give him a mind-blowing blowjob with no return service for LFL (unheard of). He looked like this afterwards:
Then, we talked more about where we are and where we are going. I had the nerve to ask him if he was turned on at all about thinking of me with other men. At first he laughed it off and denied it but he eventually said "I wouldn't call it a turn on or anything but it keeps me on my toes. Always keeping you at the center of where I want to be. I forgot that for a while and I regret that more than anything. I also like how sexy it makes you. You seem so much happier and hotter to me in some ways. Not that you weren't hot before but I couldn't see it. I was blind"
Wow. We have never had such an intimate conversation before. It's amazing that this is my H.
So I told him that he was always going to be the man for me. He is my rock. Truly my alpha male. Who knew.
I'm just beside myself with love for him right now. I can't even express it right.
Ok, come rain on my parade all of you. I dare you. Actually, you couldn't if you tried. My real life is 1000x better than any fantasy life I've created.
I dare you.