LFL, I am happy you have been able to jump start your sex life. It does seem that your H isn't submissive...it's more like he's passive, wanting some type of stimulation outside of himself to get going. The idea of your being with another man provides this kind of fuel for him. He bears some responsibility for creating a dynamic where he has starved you to such a vulnerable point, so really, it's almost like a perfect collusion the two of you have formed to get you where you are right now, not simply the case of LFL having a cheater's mindset.
Corri has sounded an alarm bell here because she doesn't want you to have to go through cycle after cycle of the same dynamic. Her heart is in the right place, otherwise, she would not have taekn the energy to take this on. Only you, and you alone, can determine if something has shifted internally for you and H. I like your optimism of " whatever it is, we'll get through it together." The concern is, once the outside stimulation has died down, what then? Who is responsible for what? How will it be approached? And so on.
Over time, don't be surprised if your ideas of relationship and sex change, shift and grow. When I first came on board here, I was very fantasy oriented and found myself stirred up by the chaos in my marriage, although I wasn't aware of how out of hand things really were. We went through a period that was passionate and provocative, which far exceeded the years of sexual dullness, but doesn't come close to matching the steady, loving commitment we now have towards each other. Yet, when I tried to express how our sex life is now, the feeling I got here on the board was one of pity... go figure! So I decided not to discuss it anymore...because I am happy. Remember, as someone, I think Corri, pointed out to IC, that it only what Miss IC thinks that is important, and no one else...I believe he figured this out on his own, a smart learner. You only have to answer to you and your H.
So test things out, talk with your H, let things evolve, and we are truly all rooting for you. Things will develop the way they are meant to in time. Have a great time tonite!
