I am happy for her too. I hope she gets laid til the cows come home, exactly as she wants to be.
That was not my point.
This particular catalyst.... is NOT the beginning point. The only reason I say that is because of LFLs posts regarding her bewilderment of it.
She thought all along she WAS being honest. Now... she says, "I say all the same things"... boom. I get what I want.
In her posts, at least, and that is all I have to go from... she thinks... 'we are happy.'
She's just hit a fear point. In my mind.
When you have something to lose, you fight like he!!.
But what do any of us have to lose? Nothing really. Just our own... sh!t. Maybe money. Like Lou says, he's worked hard all his life to get where he is. He doesn't want BB to screw it up.
But that is his thing. In being so focused on his thing (as LFL is doing), he loses sight that here is actually someone else in the mix, with their own hopes and dreams.
Respect, Balt, IS the key. And if you cannot admit you have lost respect for Other... but are determined to fit them into your version of things.... so you don't lose respect... then what?
Well. You may cheat.
If I lose respect, but I do not state it... I just work really hard at getting someone to make sure they respect me how I want/need to respect... what have you got? Your own version of truth. So. Is it about my respect or theirs? Is there room for both? If so... how?
Maybe... in you being Who You Are... and me being Who I Am... there isn't. Do you have the balls to own it and STOP the manipulation?
Or do you say... look, I think you need this. I certainly need this. Can we find our way?
Sometimes you do that through fantasy.
Sometimes you do that through gift giving.
Sometimes you do that through belly dancing.
Sometimes you do it through story telling and titilating a person.
Who cares? If you can give it... and it doesn't hurt to stretch a bit... maybe suspend belief for a bit... who cares?
Can you get over yourself.... for a time, and NOT make it about you... give to the other person what they need... even if you aren't in it... but can pretend... and for a bit... GIVE them what they want... honestly... not... 'okay... you need this... here I go... (crap azz sex, or crap azz EC)...
