Okay. So. This is a really lengthy post. I didn't even realize how long until I copied-and-pasted to make sure that I didn't lose it when hitting "submit"
New Year's was pretty good, overall.
Went to Party-1 where W and B and others were, but wanted to pop my head in and say "hi". it was a LAN party...really boring, actually, cause on New Year's I wanted to be social and stuff. Plus they were in the middle of a run (warcraft 3?) and wouldn't be done for awhile.
Luckily, my roommate, her bf, and her friend showed up - we played the Wii for awhile, before deciding everyone LANing was lame (because the only socialization they did was eat pizza then go back to their computers) and left.
I then went to Party-2.
Waaaaay more fun. The couple hosting it are friends from back in college (Dated the wife in the couple for 1 month, Oct. 2001. That figures in later). Saw friends there, talked, discovered that 1) Vanilla Stoli + Root beer = yum! 2) Never, never ask my friend to mix a drink randomly - yes, it was tasty, but holy damn was it sweet.
One friend (I hate to be all jumbled, but don't want to use names) who's also going to be a Marriage and Family Therapist, is one year beind W in the grad program - same school. She's incensed (sp? p*ssed is what I mean) that W is going to be a LMFT. Said that in one class, there had been a large section on infidelity, and she thought "Hmmm. 'W' was sitting in this class, same time last year."
And, I actually got a bit of a laugh out of this: In one of my friends' classes, someone said of a case study "No, this is just too weird - stuff like this can't actually happen. It has to be exaggerated"
Friend raises her hand, and says "Welll, actually -" and tells my story. Keep in mind, I haven't told her "my side", so there's no bias in that way. She just laid out everything that happened. She had her professor looking at her with a "Wow, that's f**ked up" expression.
Whoo! My life can stun a LMFT professor and a class of graduate students!
heh. Not a good thing, of course, but still - find teh funny where I can.
As for the wife in the couple...well, I did something I've been meaning to do for a really long time. I apologized to her for our bad breakup.
Long story short: When W decided that she did, in fact, have feelings for me after I started dating...er.. "L", she basically did all she could to "woo" me away from L - because W knew I still had feelings for her.
I was a stupid 19-year-old ass and was dating my W for a week before I broke up with L. L had been uncomfortable with how close W and I were (as in, physically close), and knew that I'd broken up with her to date my eventual W.
It took a couple years for L and I to consider each other friends again - and only in the past two have we actually become good friends. I hurt her a lot with what I did, even if we had only been together for a month, the way I acted was tacky and mean.
I apologized to her, for how I acted and for hurting her the way I did. The six years between then and now provided her with enough closure, I guess, but I needed some myself. I'd always felt guilty as hell for that.
Especially since boyfriend/husband stealing via emotional affairs and physical closeness seems to be a talent of my W. heh. (insert moderately cynical laugh here).
I ended up staying up till 6:30am talking with L's husband, a good part of our discussing being about my current situation. He and L have a much lower view of my W and of B, and B's W now days. Not because of things I've fed them - they see the situation for themselves, and make their own judgments. He actually said he and L were impressed with how well I was handling things, and how adult I was compared to how the rest of this group is handling things.
It felt...validating?...to hear "Yeah, [my name], you did your share of f**king up, but you're handling this pretty well."
He gave me some things to think about, too - which I won't expound on here, since it would require more explaination and editing of names and stuff. hehe
What's important is: I had fun on New Year's. And I didn't talk about W too much. There were three important conversations that happened, but they weren't overly long...and I listed them chronologically. I was there for almost 8 hours, and most of the time I was just BS'ing with people, and having a good time.
L and her H are two friends I definately need to see more of, too. They're good, down-to-earth, intelligent people who are outside of the social group I was involved with when "B" was a friend. It's a completely different circle - one which my W seems to have left largely behind, in favor of, for lack of a better term, the "gaming group."
