Corri is still too invested in an avoider mind-set and offers advice that is along the lines of "if you pursuers could just learn to be more of an avoider like me than everything would be all balanced in everyone's relationship"
I have to laugh on this one.... and it is a bitter kind of laugh at myself. I create my own problems.
I don't avoid. I pursue. I pursue what I want, at the cost of other. And that is what my thread is/was all about. Somehow... in some strange sense... GGB gets it. So does IC. Lou might be on the verge.
Hairdog is all over it. Now if he can DO IT... dam... he is a man.
LFL is working through. Right now, she is getting what she wants. See? Everyone is happy. The minute she is not... things are going to go to he!! in a hand basket. Because she does not understand how to dig her own well. I'm NOT picking on her. I may not be clear in how I am conveying this... but... Lil is kinda getting it now... hopefully when it gels, she will do her oh so eloquent, very, very clear writing. I'm a journalist by trade, folks. Doesn't mean I can SAY it clearly. I'm so sorry for it.
I will stand by my sticking point with LFL. I've stated it. She has stated it... but she can't see it. Many HDs cannot. That IS the power struggle.
LFL, I apologize if my assessment is wrong... but what I hear you saying is... as long as there is no drought (I get what I want), I will not cheat (find another well).
I promise you... I am not trying to come down on you. I AM blunt. But I am NOT trying to hammer you. I've defended you on this very thread. I personally feel... you don't see it yet. You just can't admit that maybe you don't. That's really very okay. If you want to take out your anger and feeling insulted on me... go for it. I won't take it personally. Promise. I know. I've told you. BTDT.
This is NOT about my happiness.
I am speaking to you becuz.... I care. I care about all you folks. The reason why I brought BF into the mix is because... he said "I will not get involved with married people." I didn't get that... until I was single. Posting here. I've talked with many folks, male and female alike, off line. As soon as I was separated, and I began posting here... I saw the wisdom in BF's statement. I took it to heart, not because of some 'defending' thing I have going for BF... but because I could see immediately the danger here of conversing offline as a single woman with men who were struggling in their Ms. I COULD use that to my advantage... but I care for the people here. I care that they ARE struggling... I know my own weakness... and I will be damed if I will bring that to a man who is struggling on here with their own M.
If I cannot overcome my own weaknesses, I will be damed if I make another the 'cause' of it. I have to know myself. I have deluded myself plenty. I'm really good at it, actually. Catching myself at it is something else.
I THOUGHT that LFL was getting there, in her confusion. Given our last few posts, she is not. It's cool. She can rail at me all she wants. I can take it. It's good to have someone to whom you can direct your anger.
What is happening is not the cure for her. It is a honeymoon period. I hope I am wrong. I don't think I am... I'm not saying that to be cocky... just BTDT.
For the same reason I did not level IC for his ONS, I will not come down on LFL. She has to see it. It doesn't matter if I see it or not. It doesn't matter that she was honest about it. As Lil said, it took quite a lot of balls on her part to say something like that on this thread, and not expect 2 x 4s.
It's just when they come... she doesn't want to hear it. If she does... I'll be around. But I still love the bejeezus out of her anyway.
