New to Piecing -- again

[peaceful_spirit]

Michael and CL,
This is exactly what I was looking for. Sometimes I need reminders of how to channel my thoughts.

Michael,
You better believe I've been working on those things that were not right in our M pre-bomb. It's been almost two years of identifying those things and working on them one by one. I will admit that I was NOT meeting H's needs pre-bomb... certainly not his top needs, that's for sure. I have a new level of awareness now and have turned much of that around.

CL,
I love hearing from you because I know you'll force me to look inward and get at the root of what's going on within me. You're right... I look for external "things" for validation. I have always had a big problem with anticipating. I tend to ruin today worrying about tomorrow. I am working on this and have made great progress. However, at times this becomes a conscious effort.

I know that I do tend to calm down when I remember that I am okay by myself. I survuved without H for a year, I can do it again if need be. I know that I CAN find happiness within me. And it's when I start to worry about what H is doing that I start feeling that loss of control. I know I cannot control him, nor do I want to. I can only control me. I can not control H staying away from OW. And I guess that's what is causing some of my suffering.

This is good food for thought. Thank you.