wow...been a long time! I knew if I lurked long enough, I'd find a way to jump in. I posted a little on Fan's thread. I really want to be back here as a 100% success story, but I wonder if that will ever happen? I'm still doing really well, we are still together...and might as well give you the latest interesting tidbit....Unfortunately had a friend die right before xmas. This was a man that was part of a regular group my H hangs out with, and where he met OW. A little background...once this group realized what was happening, she was basically banned from their activities, so even though he has continued with this group--and so has OW's SO--to my knowledge he has not seen or talked to her since about May or June of 06--just a few months after I confirmed the A. So...I realized this woman might be at the funeral, knowing at the very least that her SO other was still good friends with the deceased. I was a little nervous, but figured this would be as good a place (safe a place) as any for me to run into her (she lives just 15 miles or so away from us).
I didn't recognize her! I noticed her, and thought, no, that's not her, is it? But I really didn't give it a lot of thought, and of course didn't want to stare to try to be sure. Afterwards, back at another friend's house (part of the group), one of the wives said to me, "Didn't she look awful?" I said, "Was that her?!!!" It couldn't have gone better. I know how petty it sounds, but she really did look AWFUL! I bet she's gained 40 pounds since I last saw her about 2 years ago. And there was absolutely no acknowledgement from my H that she was even there....no speaking, no eye contact, that I noticed. Thank God!
That little story feels like a milestone for me, but honestly, I can't say that there have been many others. My DBing really probably hasn't been all that great. There have been times, in the heat of a fight, when I've brought her up, said pretty awful things about her, and him. It's been a really long time since that's happened, though...guess I should give myself that credit. But we haven't had any R talks. He hasn't truly apologized or "re-committed" verbally. My Christmas present was a joke (not that I can really say he's ever been good at Christmas!). We do have fun--we go out a lot, have friends over, have met a lot of new friends, thanks to my GAL :-) But there still seems to be a lot missing. I'm just not sure how to change the dynamics now from giving him his space and GAL to really reconnecting.
I might should be on the piecing forum now, but I had to stop back in and check on everyone. I have to admit, it's hard going back through old threads to find everyone. If my old friends stop to say hello, please post a link on my thread to your latest thread(s). I hope everyone is well!
