H and I own business together, still talking

[grid, lost]

Grid,

G

ot Chi Chi's nacho recipe from a cook at Chi Chi's. He told me what was in it, but couldn't give me the measurements of ingredients, Just kept adding till it tasted right.

You are so lucky! I bet that cheesie dip is good! I love to go to Chi Chi's some times when H and I would go we would take turns on who had to drive home and then the other could have extra drink or two. Closes one to us is at least an hour away is not a bit longer. LOL Can see i live a bit rural shall I say.

I had to get home to make turkey dinner for all the kids. Left their house at 3AM. I don't mind cooking at all, I hate the cleaning up LOL.

hear you on the clean up. H taught me to clean up as you are cooking the food and at the end so much better and so much less work. there is the mention of that turkey again. Darn your making me hungry!

I don't know about not accepting gifts from H, it's his way of staying connected with you. Have you given H a gift? Maybe that would be a sign to him that you are interested in connecting with him, that might bring him closer to starting a R with you.

I am finishing the 5LL's I think I will reread DR and rest some goals myself.

spoke with H today, several times in fact. He seemed in a fairly good mood. Kept the mouth shut about gift issue and let it all go. I'll trust you on this one Mike and not stop him. When I was walking the dog last evening kept rolling it all over and over in my mind. MMMMMMMMM....giving him a gift is an idea. His Birthday is in a couple weeks and I do have a couple Harley bike accessors for his bike. could wrap them up or at wrap at least one up for him. I don't know if he would see that as pushing him to change???? Have to take some time and think about it. H is coming up on 17th for sure. Need him when I go to appointment with another insurance dr. Always like a witness present. So might give him the gift and tell him not to open till B day. No to far from B day. have to give it all thought

Caught her looking at me, I was laughing and having a great time. I even gave her a wink once! Got a hug and gave her a kiss on thew cheek at midnight. When I went to leave she got up came to me and I got another hug. Told her in her ear I've really missed her, pulled away after I gave her a peck on the lips. Talked to her best friend before leaving, she asked me about if I was going through depression, told her yes. I said I pray to God W changes her mind, Told her about the R books I've read

Something is going on with your W. NO doubt about it. Keep DB or DR which ever you are reading. W way to friendly and connecting with you to be Nothing. WOW. Especially if she went to effort to come over to door when you were leaving......by any chance notice what sorta look she had on her face after the peck kiss at the door? Keep working Mike she just might give all of this another chance or at least stop the divorce. I'll pray for you.
What sort of thoughts did her best friend have to give? Of course your W would know two of you'd talk. So maybe W is going to use Best Friend to get a bit of feed back. Wonder why friend ask if you were depressed? lol Have you changed that much. lol do you think friend was surprised to learn of all reading, etc. you have been up to??? Regardless of W, I beleive you are making noticeable changes at least to those who know you. Everyone should be entitled to a second chance for heaven sakes. Guess our Ss felt they were giving us second chances, we just failed at mind reading. lol
H seems to make an effort to keep me posted on B&W cat. Wonder if he isn't using B&W as a reason, may not even be aware of it himself. I know one thing if H and i were to ever try and recover R. We would have to go to C. H has to learn i can't read his mind and I need to find better communication means as well. Maybe I'm at fault for the very same thing, as appears to H, who knows.???..
Well it is near zero and I just have realized I am out of dog food!!!!!!!! All the dogs are starting to head bunt me to say will you come on and feed us. Want to cry.

Called my kids after midnight. @ of the four were trashed!

Oh yes, to be young age, just for a short while. lol
grid, lost

[grid, lost]

Grid,

G

ot Chi Chi's nacho recipe from a cook at Chi Chi's. He told me what was in it, but couldn't give me the measurements of ingredients, Just kept adding till it tasted right.

You are so lucky! I bet that cheesie dip is good! I love to go to Chi Chi's some times when H and I would go we would take turns on who had to drive home and then the other could have extra drink or two. Closes one to us is at least an hour away is not a bit longer. LOL Can see i live a bit rural shall I say.

I had to get home to make turkey dinner for all the kids. Left their house at 3AM. I don't mind cooking at all, I hate the cleaning up LOL.

hear you on the clean up. H taught me to clean up as you are cooking the food and at the end so much better and so much less work. there is the mention of that turkey again. Darn your making me hungry!

I don't know about not accepting gifts from H, it's his way of staying connected with you. Have you given H a gift? Maybe that would be a sign to him that you are interested in connecting with him, that might bring him closer to starting a R with you.

I am finishing the 5LL's I think I will reread DR and rest some goals myself.

spoke with H today, several times in fact. He seemed in a fairly good mood. Kept the mouth shut about gift issue and let it all go. I'll trust you on this one Mike and not stop him. When I was walking the dog last evening kept rolling it all over and over in my mind. MMMMMMMMM....giving him a gift is an idea. His Birthday is in a couple weeks and I do have a couple Harley bike accessors for his bike. could wrap them up or at wrap at least one up for him. I don't know if he would see that as pushing him to change???? Have to take some time and think about it. H is coming up on 17th for sure. Need him when I go to appointment with another insurance dr. Always like a witness present. So might give him the gift and tell him not to open till B day. No to far from B day. have to give it all thought

Caught her looking at me, I was laughing and having a great time. I even gave her a wink once! Got a hug and gave her a kiss on thew cheek at midnight. When I went to leave she got up came to me and I got another hug. Told her in her ear I've really missed her, pulled away after I gave her a peck on the lips. Talked to her best friend before leaving, she asked me about if I was going through depression, told her yes. I said I pray to God W changes her mind, Told her about the R books I've read

Something is going on with your W. NO doubt about it. Keep DB or DR which ever you are reading. W way to friendly and connecting with you to be Nothing. WOW. Especially if she went to effort to come over to door when you were leaving......by any chance notice what sorta look she had on her face after the peck kiss at the door? Keep working Mike she just might give all of this another chance or at least stop the divorce. I'll pray for you.
What sort of thoughts did her best friend have to give? Of course your W would know two of you'd talk. So maybe W is going to use Best Friend to get a bit of feed back. Wonder why friend ask if you were depressed? lol Have you changed that much. lol do you think friend was surprised to learn of all reading, etc. you have been up to??? Regardless of W, I beleive you are making noticeable changes at least to those who know you. Everyone should be entitled to a second chance for heaven sakes. Guess our Ss felt they were giving us second chances, we just failed at mind reading. lol
H seems to make an effort to keep me posted on B&W cat. Wonder if he isn't using B&W as a reason, may not even be aware of it himself. I know one thing if H and i were to ever try and recover R. We would have to go to C. H has to learn i can't read his mind and I need to find better communication means as well. Maybe I'm at fault for the very same thing, as appears to H, who knows.???..
Well it is near zero and I just have realized I am out of dog food!!!!!!!! All the dogs are starting to head bunt me to say will you come on and feed us. Want to cry.

Called my kids after midnight. @ of the four were trashed!

Oh yes, to be young age, just for a short while. lol
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

There's no more Chi Chi's in our area, i guess too many real mexican restaurants in the area. At one time it was the only one.

S25 got the turkey from work as a gift. It was a 23lb bird. Sent D25 and S26 home with lots of leftovers, saved some for me too.

I can't say why he gives you gifts, I'm on the same side of the fence you are, but I gave my W a Christmas present to show her iI still care and hopefully when she looks at the pics on the frame she will remember the good times. I don't think you giving H a present will make him think you're pushing him to change, he might see it as you're interested in giving also, if he's the only one giving the gifts he might think you aren't interested in him. Has it been a while since you have pursued a little?

I didn't talk to her friend much, started to get into it but told her I didn't come to her house for this, but did tell her I hope W changes her mind about D and left it at that. I think she was shocked by the number of books I've read. I haven't read many books in the past unless they were manuals on control systems on elevators.

Maybe H is using the cat as an excuse to call. I think the more contact you have the friendlier he will be. It's been over a year since he left hasn't it? It could be R with OW is getting stale.

Got some news tonight. I was looking at other posts about a month ago, some one had a link to Dr Phil's website. I checked it out and wrote in my situation. A researcher for his show called me tonight for some more information. after talking to me she sent me an e-mail wanting more details and information about us. She wanted a family picture of us. The only ones I have, I'm the one who is usually behind the camera, is one taken at the hospital the night before surgery and one about 9 years old. Don't know if it will go anywhere but here's to hoping. I know W watches Dr. Phil's show and respects what he does. I wrote in the e-mail W is having a crisis, confirmed by MC and is not seeking help. Talked to all the kids tonight as she wanted contact info for everyone involved to get their ok to give it to her. S25 said it would be a good thing because mom needs some help. Who knows maybe I'll be making a return trip to LA. I went there once on a vacation, ran into some guys from otis elevator out there. They were having a problem on equipment I am very good with. Told them what to get to fix it, two things they could buy at radio shack but told them it was a part they would need to order. One guy wanted to argue it wouldn't be that part that was bad, told them to get it anyway. They came back to the restaurant at the hotel we were staying at on orders from their boss. He wanted to hire me because I fixed the problem they were having fro a month from the restaurant without looking at the controller. No offense to anyone from S Cal but I couldn't live there, traffic is way too bad and housing too high.

With the dogs you got you ought to buy it by the truck load LOL. It's cold here too, 16 degrees and white death on the ground.

Mike

[grid, lost]

[quote=micoms]Grid,

There's no more Chi Chi's in our area, i guess too many real mexican restaurants in the area. At one time it was the only one

. Come to think of it I do believe the CHi's near us closed to.

I can't say why he gives you gifts, I'm on the same side of the fence you are, but I gave my W a Christmas present to show her iI still care and hopefully when she looks at the pics on the frame she will remember the good times. I don't think you giving H a present will make him think you're pushing him to change, he might see it as you're interested in giving also, if he's the only one giving the gifts he might think you aren't interested in him. Has it been a while since you have pursued a little?

Like I say Mike something is happening with W and for the good. Honest that is the vibes I pick up from your posts and I am so happy for you. Still have a very long way to go but at least a couple bricks have fallen from the wall.
I believe guys are forced to learn better emotions control. Just got of phone with H. We are getting very very close to not being able to pay our utility and morgage bills.!! I keep heat at 59 to try and save. Back bedroom is always about 5-7 degrees less. Even slept in my clothes these really cold nights.
H will not take even a part time job to fill in. Says he is to old, fed up with life for anyone to hire him. What can you say back?? So before our conversation is over I had a few sharp words although I did catch myself and pull mez back closer to DBing. I'm going to post a seperate posting to explain H and I interhange! To long for this one. Besides there is too much good news for you to waste space on H.

I think she was shocked by the number of books I've read. I haven't read many books in the past unless they were manuals on control systems on elevators.

LOL, yes I am sure she was shocked. Not meaning this as a jab at you but. You sound like a true male, do nothing till major crisis, major major crisis. lol

Maybe H is using the cat as an excuse to call. I think the more contact you have the friendlier he will be. It's been over a year since he left hasn't it? It could be R with OW is getting stale.

Do believe he is using cat for an excuse to call. Just have sick feeling he still thinks i will work around to the three of us being, "best buds"!! grrr. lol What are we always seeing on the boards?? the WAS will not trust LBS, well this one is reverse.

Got some news tonight. I was looking at other posts about a month ago, some one had a link to Dr Phil's website. I checked it out and wrote in my situation. A researcher for his show called me tonight for some more information. after talking to me she sent me an e-mail wanting more details and information about us. She wanted a family picture of us. The only ones I have, I'm the one who is usually behind the camera, is one taken at the hospital the night before surgery and one about 9 years old. Don't know if it will go anywhere but here's to hoping. I know W watches Dr. Phil's show and respects what he does. I wrote in the e-mail W is having a crisis, confirmed by MC and is not seeking help. Talked to all the kids tonight as she wanted contact info for everyone involved to get their ok to give it to her. S25 said it would be a good thing because mom needs some help. Who knows maybe I'll be making a return trip to LA.

WOW! this is unbelievable! GOOD for you again I am happy for you. Do you have a photo of just yourself, Dr. Phil crew could cut and paste you into a group photo. Keep me posted even if you want to email private for some reason(don't want to post public info.) Ok with me should such be .
I am jealous, maybe I'll send my stitch to them. Since We are both orphans by age and my spine injury. mmmmmmmm...bet Dr. Phil could give me an eye opener about me too. I would be in need of it as well.

They came back to the restaurant at the hotel we were staying at on orders from their boss. He wanted to hire me because I fixed the problem they were having fro a month from the restaurant without looking at the controller. No offense to anyone from S Cal but I couldn't live there, traffic is way too bad and housing too high

.
Your Good,Your Very Good. Take pride in yourself as you've earned it. Do you suppose W sees how much success you have had with job. Even if only in last few years and feels she lost out and her worth is zero???? Just a thought that leaped into my head.

With the dogs you got you ought to buy it by the truck load LOL. It's cold here too, 16 degrees and white death on the ground.

LOL, some times coming out of store people stare at me and BAGS of dog food. When I use to buy food at Sam's Club I'd pick up couple hundred pounds at time and people really stared. One person even ask what size dog I have.? told him, five BMDs 75-95 lbs. Looked at me like I'd dropped in from Mars. ROFL
Then one time As wheeling out Bags of Purinia dog food looked at the bags and said to myself, "what are you doing? Should be buying the stock not dog food. So went home Purinia. is owned by Nestle, swiss co. & purch. stock. It has nearly doubled.!!!

Not to brag but I generally make money in stock market and H looses every penny!!! YIKES

[micoms]

Grid,

Sorry to hear about your expenses. Have you tried to shut off heat, close off registers, in unused rooms? I have an auto set back thermostat, it's set to turn back to 67 at night, Warm up at 6:30AM, back to 67 when no one is home and 72 at 4:30PM. Good job of catching yourself when talking to H. Has H mentioned the three of you being one happy family recently? It could be he is having more contact because R with OW is out of the honeymoon stage.

I never thought my success in my field would cause her self worth to fall. With what I make, she doesn't really need to work if she didn't want to. I've tried to get her to go to school to learn something for a better job, she's not interested. I got sent to Kansas City for training once, they were having problems in another building and about to lose the contract. They came into the class to see if anyone knew anything about T-3 equipment. I looked at it found the problem, it wasn't on the prints, something I had run into and spent a lot of time on to find in my town. Super offered me a job there also.

Putting pics of kids on memory cards for W and her aunt. Kind of got me in a down mood. Thinking about the past and what it is now.

I have to talk to W to see if she is interested in the Dr. Phil thing. Think I'll see if she will have dinner with me tomorrow, if so I'll ask her at dinner.

Mike

[grid, lost]

Mike,
long post, sorry. have to vent or cry!

Thank you for listening or reading all of my post (s). Wait till hear /oops read this one. Thank you as I'm really stewing tonight and need to vent.

I can't say why he gives you gifts, I'm on the same side of the fence you are, but I gave my W a Christmas present to show her iI still care and hopefully when she looks at the pics on the frame she will remember the good times. I don't think you giving H a present will make him think you're pushing him to change, he might see it as you're interested in giving also, if he's the only one giving the gifts he might think you aren't interested in him. Has it been a while since you have pursued a little?

Good question when was last time have I tried to pursue him??? First we need to define pursue??? In your mind mike, how do you define this??? Mention, R, comment I am reading books, have dinner with him??? What do you see as pursueing him? Goals, if what I am trying isn't working try something else. Good idea I'll give him a birthday gift. Absolutely !

Here goes my venting, ready???,, We had to connect by telephone several time today. So here is one of a couple calls had with him. Remember, our business is still being run from house more or less. We are not getting the profesional "rubbing elbows " as we should. So remember dogs and big claim against insurance co. over dog food?? I am consulted with an attorney. Just happens to be young practice in a Large victorian house, redoing and Great job at it. Well these couple attornie's are looking for people to rent space. Has 300% of everything we need, right down to F***ing cellar(taking on all prof. tenants) plus prof.elbow rubbing. Which should lead to more leads for us to gain clients! DU H get it! So I am talking with H, he & OW are in Maryland.

So H has to move here or move business. H does not want to work on R nor move business. I told him well you'll have to move north, rent mobile home and we each can take a big life style hit, as in down !!! I have been working very very hard to squirrel away money to try & have 1 yrs rent. Tell H about attornies, etc. We have to deside on price range we want and max we can go. No reason to open office if he isn't going to be up north. I've agreed to try and be in office couple days week (on drugs, lol) so someone will be there.

In business world you jump on stuff when it comes or you loose out. So jump on office or walk away don't even inquire. Here is H's response about moving, trying for low cost office space as first tenant, etc......to me...."well find out what they want and about storeage (I've already been through place)...,etc." almost whinning!!!!! Again I explain, no, that will not work, you go in to deal and ready to jump if you get the price and what you want, other wise keep quiet. As you'll just tick off the landlords (attornies)and never have a referral from them!!!!

For nearly 18 months any question about most anything, ask Q, H says I don't know what to do, I'll have to think on it, not up to making a decision today and then never responds, gets mad if you bring up again days later. I almost lost it, over the office, if we don't do something to increase revenue, going to loose the house and it is just by luck stumbled onto this up coming prof. offices. DBing, talked with H and said, H you can't wait or think on this, you have been doing just that for 18 months. Like it or not you have to just take a deep breath and make a decision. Come north or forget all of this. If come north, you are going to rent Mobile home and we both take big hit, if you do not come north move business.! [Which he really can't because he doesn't have any contacts. Cs have told me as long as OW is willing to take care of him, feed, house, sex he will never leave or make any changes in his life.]
Left the phone conversation with little knowledge and again, anger I can't deal with all of this. We have lots of problems but as a friend forced me to do, you have to peel one monkey at a time off your back. Which of course means you must make a decsion here and there. H refuses to peel monkeys off his back.

It could be R with OW is getting stale.

Some how I doubt it. Might wish it till cows come home, lol, just not going to be as above statement from C.

No offense to anyone from S Cal but I couldn't live there, traffic is way too bad and housing too high.

So I've heard, traffic is impossible and the worst in US. Have a friend who lives there and often invites me out. Maybe should plan to future, try and save for a plane ticket then just go. lol
Thank you for taking on all my venting. Just writing it all down makes this seem like an impossible situation. I guess Mike you can now see why I get so down at times. But then have to remember, no kids involved to be hurt and others have it much muh worse. At least H tries to pay bills. OOPs, another goof I made today. Somewhere into one of our conversations of morgage, etc. H says to me, "I don't want you like this and I do care about you." Angery I told him, no, no you don't care about me. I appreciate you sending money but lets be honest, the money is guilt money from you, call it like it is, just guilt or else you would at least try about our M/R.
I'm exhausted from remembering and writing all of this.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

That's everyone is here for to vent and to "listen" to others vent. What are you using for office and storage space now, your home? Are you taking deductions for office space in house? Are these atty's real estate attys? Could be a good idea to make calls on some attys who are in the real estate and of law.

By pursuing I mean inviting him out for dinner when he's in town, maybe say there's a movie you'd like to see. I don't think talking to him is necessarily pursuing. How often does he come around?

I know a lot of questions on my part. Sounds like he's afraid to make a move on about anything. Don't be afraid to vent here, better here than at H.

Mike

[grid, lost]

Sorry to hear about your expenses. Have you tried to shut off heat, close off registers, in unused rooms?

Thanks mike. NYS natural gas rates are some of the worst in USA!!!! Upstate is second highest in state and about the lowest inome areas!!!! Rurual but low income.

Good job of catching yourself when talking to H. Has H mentioned the three of you being one happy family recently? It could be he is having more contact because R with OW is out of the honeymoon stage.

Thank you I am a bit proud of myself and stunned at same time. I can hardly believe DBing stuck to my brain. Just as I was loosing it, Click, DBing kicked in! Wonder if H noticed, lol.

I never thought my success in my field would cause her self worth to fall.

Mike, what does your wife LOVE to do as hobby or passion?? before I lost my old job, a co-worker came up to me one day and said,"you know I hate you!" I almost feel over and then she laughed and said, honest I hate you, you have found your passion in life and I don't have that". The dogs, when you talk about the dogs/showing/training there are these sparkies that flash in your eyes. You can see it, the love, the passion for what your doing and most of us never get to experience that.
See where I am coming from? At dinner try to explore this with your W. Maybe she should find p/t job doing her passion or volunteer with same. I donate time @ SPCA. Try this route with her and see if opens lines of communication a bit. W would love to have a nice dinner and talk about her hobby of love. Then plant a seed.

With what I make, she doesn't really need to work if she didn't want to.

Mike, your intent is only the very best for your wife. Please what I am about to say is not about you it is about woman in general today.
Sometimes need to make some $$$$$ yourself, not dependent 100% on someone else. H always gives me $$ but when I was well and not working you start to resent it, childish I know but every time you are out of $$$, always asking have any money? H is always paying for dinner,etc.
lol
But then again, I have this friend, H is very sucessful. One day we were out for lunch and she puts down plastic to pay for us. Of course, thank her and then said do you try to pay them all off end of month to avoid interest charge (CPA in me, small talk about finances)??? I'll never forget her reply as long as I live, friends answere, "I don't pay them off,(me ROFL and stunned), that is Martie's (H) job. I just charge them !!!!!" Friend was not a wild spender, please understand. She helped H start his business now success and so she enjoys not working.

But not all of us are this way. think about it a bit. How have you felt mentally locked at home and not having a regular routeen, not going out and seeing co-workers, Sounds wonderful and is for awhile as you know and then, honeymoon of wonderful ends. Not making money?????? BTW, your W's mom did she work or best friend's mom or aunt close to??? This could be in back of her mind too.

I've tried to get her to go to school to learn something for a better job, she's not interested.

Passion, Passion, Passion !

I looked at it found the problem, it wasn't on the prints, something I had run into and spent a lot of time on to find in my town. [quote]Super offered me a job there also.[/

quote]
You are just to D__ smart and sharp. lol

Putting pics of kids on memory cards for W and her aunt. Kind of got me in a down mood. Thinking about the past and what it is now

.
Aw, I'm sorry such a wonderful and thoughtful gift put you in a down mood. It's hard, no matter how much DBing we read. Remember Michele said we will have these moods and to realize they will pass. Still hurts. Actually, I don't know how you hold all together with kids and all.

[quote]I have to talk to W to see if she is interested in the Dr. Phil thing.

Now this should be an interesting conversation :)! Wish I could be a fly on wall for this one. Please do tell when you return to boards. Now what is the best ontray(sp/brain with meds) to order for such a conversation??? Steak so you have to chew well between bites and comments or italian spaghettie taking a long time to roll food onto fork, top it off with smooth red wine?????
BTW, Both have garlic knotts and no one will interrupt. lol

[grid, lost]

[quote=micoms]Grid,

That's everyone is here for to vent and to "listen" to others vent. What are you using for office and storage space now, your home? Are you taking deductions for office space in house? Are these atty's real estate attys? Could be a good idea to make calls on some attys who are in the real estate and of law.

I hate to vent and dump my personal emotional problems on others. OMG, that is why folks go to C....ROFL....I get it, what to say to C.!
Honest thank you and anyone else who stops by one of my posts. Oh yes, we take every penny can find. That is Dear Mr. Presd. give a tax break to multi-millionaires and less to the small guy.
We use 1/2 two different rooms and of course this computer is for company . Keep client records, accounting, etc. on it.
Actually, many attornies call H for advice on how Gov. is applying laws and how H is interrupting laws per real field application. Honest, they will never admitt it but attornies call him. Problem with this business is so tied to economy and competeing against regional and national engineering firms. When Ds are in office there is a lot more work for small business, believe it or not. So back to our actual work, we do an "environmental audit" of a property and if possible problems, goes to next level. Which often called phase II, now there is some $$$$ involved, except. Except for last couple years most are stopping project and not investing $$$. NYS is starting to want geological surveys for artifacts, [hundreds to thousands of years ago] H is on NYS as geologiest to do this work, again, goes to next level where there is real money, STOP! rough business. We hope NYS will expand geological work and then more $$$$ for our coffers.

By pursuing I mean inviting him out for dinner when he's in town, maybe say there's a movie you'd like to see. I don't think talking to him is necessarily pursuing. How often does he come around?

H has not mentioned "three buds" for a long time. Maybe he finally got it!!! Yes, we have dinner when he is in town. H appears about every 6 wks or 2 months. funny last time @ resturant all I could keep thinking about was, well when out to dinner with OW, what do they talk about./ I know I know, keep OW out of my head.
Movie idea will not work, I'd love to go to one with him. He rents a car, pushes and pushes all day, and then to tired by evening for movie . H would be snorring through it and peopled start throwing boxes of popcorn at him. lol
Gift is my best next bet. Going to try that.

I know a lot of questions on my part. Sounds like he's afraid to make a move on about anything. Don't be afraid to vent here, better here than at H.

You are absolutely correct, H is afraid to make any decisions, any! To be honest just do not know what to do or rather how to change my behavior to hopefully improve the situation. I thought the rent office and having squirreled some money on side would help. Nothing from him, it not only does not help our situation, it hurts too. Here I am, hope I've found a way to mix us with other professionals, help our situation and he won't do anything! What do you do??? With H two states away there is no reason to rent an office and yet what do I do? Everyone tells me to get a seperation agreement to protect assets but then H can divorce me asap and I'm not about to do that for my own well being (long term). We can not just sit in a vacuum either. By doing vacuum mode we are loosing everything. Oh yes, H's other response to $$$ problems is well we will just have to declare bankruptcy. Except that means what little estate my parents had I loose. Already have put thousands from estate into keeping us afloat.
I must find some sort of work, just must. I can not change or push H to move on anything, so what are my options and how do go about them???? Speaking of that was another issue with moving north, forget R and H moving into a mobile home. I will take a big financial and life style hit. Told H need to know so have some idea how to structure my life. H does nothing , what do I do???? How do I protect myself??????? Can't

[micoms]

Grid,

Part of my W's problem is she has no hobbies or interests. In MC she told C that. All she does is go to work and sleep, I'm not kidding. One night she went to bed at 7PM and slept until 10:30AM the next day, 15 hours of sleeping, no she wasn't sick. This is one of the reasons MC says W is in a crisis, she thinks W may have a repressed trauma in her childhood or teenage years thats going to come out. she asked me to try to remember anything W may have said about anything along those lines W may have talked about in the past. Can't remember anything.

I tried to get her interested in something we could do together, get a couple of bikes and take them to a bicycle trail together, join a motorcycle club that takes rides together, take dance classes together... One thing she said would be fun was running a marathon! She doesn't even like to get on a treadmill.

W was a secretary when we got M'd. She quit when we had D25, daycare would have been more than she made. She started babysitting to earn money, did that for 14 years. When she went back to the workforce computers had come out and she was behind, started working in a mail processing place. Yes, W's mother had to work, W's father died when she was three.

I'm not all that smart, I can just remember problems I have worked on in the past. Thats what happened in KC. I remembered having the same problem on a job in Dayton, took hours to find it.

One thing W said in C'ing was when we went on vaca she never had any money in her pocket, I carried all the money and travelers checks. Told her it wasn't my money but our money. I always carried it, felt it was safer in my pocket than in her purse someone could just grab. She always looked at her paychecks as paying her car payment and 1/2 the house payment. I just deposited my checks, never thought it went to specific bills, just the account.

I'm about to go stir crazy, don't know how people can just stay home. I'm more than ready to go back to work. If you go to movie with H just be sure to wear safety glasses, don't want to get hit in the eye by flying popcorn,LOL.

I thought I read in your post somewhere you're a CPA, any way to get a PT job doing that for extra cash?

Mike