Your H certainly does exhibit some confused behaviour, it's one foot in and the other foot out, and then he shakes them all about! I'm not sure what he wants, except to keep all options open in some fashion or another.
I guess the most common bit of advice you read is that if you don't want a D then you should not actively help your WAS to reach that goal, which I guess is your position. I still think that you might benefit from setting some harder boundaries with him. Once again, he acts friendly towards you and the walls come down. If you are happy with that then that's fine for as long as it will last, which could be a long time or something could happen with you or your H that would change things. Have you considered what might happen if he did meet someone and fall for them? Would you see a change in his attitude? Would you wish your current/previous interactions were different.
Also consider, how do you feel? What do you want? Are you happy living as you are? Is the way you interact now better than no interaction at all with him?
Just playing devil's advocate a little. Hope you don't mind.
Max
Me 36 W 37 Bomb (Easter 07) Sep (WAW July 07) "It's over" (end Oct 07) T10.5 years, M2 (before bomb)
