I have solid information that my husband (after 3 years) has ended his emotional affair. We do not talk about our relationship or the one he's ending, but he has opened up about himself recently in an email. He's seen a councelor and agreed to go back. We have great, casual encounters with our family and kids - hugs, pecks, etc. All good. Holidays were great - a couple of dates. I know he needs a friend but I think he feels he'll hurt me more if he opens up right now. I felt moved to send him an email just now that said we love you and I am here for you. He did not respond - in great pain. He works with the woman and I'm sure he's suffering at work - plus guilt of his actions, etc. I know I can be the friend he needs if he would feel safe opening up, but I don't want to push. Talking about sensitive subjects has been like extracting teeth at times during our marriage. Any advice???
Me: 41 H: 50 M: 15 years S14-D12-D10 S: 05/07 Back home: 08/08 EA: 4 yrs
yes, lots of guilt at this stage, they need a couple of months (about6+) to process the end of the A. He won't feel safe with you for a long long time (hence the A, he went for emotional support elsewhere) so dont' beat yourself about that, it is not your fault that he needs time to readjust his priorities. Ditto the above, don't push for info, think 3+ and overnight before you ask a question and even then ask yourself if the question will promote healing or is it just to satisfy your curiosity. If you haven't yet please read "not just friends" it has awesome advice about healing from an A.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
