I can also see that this self discovery ideally should happen before you get into a LTR rather than 20+ years into it, but that is another road.
Isn't that the FCKING truth of the century. Bottle that and sell it, GGB. You'll be a millionaire.
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Anyway, I'm wondering if that tendency to get stuck, might simply be a symptom of not really recognizing myself fully, as it seems to be a little easier to pull out of those potholes after reflecting on myself than it did before. What do you think?
I'm thinking that is exactly what it is, as I am coming to similar conclusions myself. When I hit rough patches, and I do... directly after I've thrown my hissy fit (hopefully in a room where no one can hear), I start looking at me. My immediate impulse is to see what Other Is Not... rather than... Who Am I, and What Do I Want?
A lot of times, who they are showing me they are does not jive with Who I AM and What I Want... (a fix of ________ FIB.) The dilemma, it seems, is either giving up Who I Say I Am, or them not supplying me.
And I just don't think that's the dilemma. You must be starting to see that as well.