New Years went OK , W out partying , me and D stayed in and watched movies so that was nice. W's behaviour has taken another turn and I guess it could be described as passive agressive. For example she had a couple of days off and normaly likes to spend at least some time with D. While we have no formal arrangement we have been good at comunicating expectations and she will let me know in advance what days she would like D to stay etc. Now she has taken to making no commitment , I needed to do some stuff yesterday and the day before asked W , Are you comming down to pick up D and if so what time so we can be here? I got " I dont know " then " I dont know what I am doing minute to minute " . I just said it makes no difference to me I enjoy taking D along with me , I just dont want you turning up expecting us to be here. Yesterday I did take D with me and we got home around mid day . W turned up about an hour later and stayed for about 3 hrs , did not do anything with D or S , sat out on the deck looking unhappy (second day in a row ). This behaviour is starting to affect the kids , S 16 tried to interact with W and in the end gave up walking off , looked at me and raised his eyebrows. Even D who normaly sticks to W like glue was avoiding her.
I think its depression mixed with anger , who knows . I am paying for not setting proper boundaries and being too accomodating early in the Separation , I wouldnt go sit at her place for 3 hrs in a huff.
Is it a reaction to me pulling away ? Me going out with OW ( as innocent as it was ) was the turning point in this.
Without a doubt reality is sinking in and her choices will have life long consequences. How different things are to when she moved out.
