I don't mean physically hear it, I mean really hear it, emotionally, and understand the pain they've caused.
I think I've gotten to that point with my own actions (although only my H can say for sure), in being able to see how painful it was to be on the receiving end of some things and apologize with sincere remorse. We haven't talked about everything I feel badly about, but I'm totally open if it comes up. I'm also much more aware of how my actions now impact my H - I'm noticing his reactions in a way I didn't before.
I also think that we don't just forgive once, that it has to happen over and over as things rise up in a different way over time. Some of us do that in our M, others do it on their own, but we'll all face the challenge. Staying mad is also an option, but I'm hoping to get past that at some point.
