We may even be able to cum at the same time. It's rare but do-able. Don't worry about the same time as long as it is good for both of you. BTW, that description of what is going to happen, WOW and tripple WOW. Where is that smoki'n icon.
As for tonight, I think I will surprise him with a blowjob to start. But I don't think I will complete that task. I'll stop just before he is about to go crazy and then make him go down on me, again just until I am about to go crazy, and then I think I'll straddle on top of him and just sort of grind to an O with him inside me. We may even be able to cum at the same time. It's rare but do-able.
Oh, I'm sorry....I was looking for the SSM forum and must have stumbled into the Penthouse forum instead Move along folks, nothing to see here! {as IC turns to take another peek} I see you're trying to keep up that 1,098 pace for 2008 !!! Good for you.
I understand that you like a wolf/puppy combo. But you want the wolf/puppy combo on your terms, when you want it, how you want it. I say this in response to:
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I'd want you to be puppy dog and receptive to petting me and telling me I'm pretty. You'd be drained and withdraw affection. I'd look elsewhere. R on the skids again.
If that is what you want, find the man to give it to you, rather than demand it from someone who has no interest in giving it.
You obviously have this with your H... because as soon as he stops being the wolf (but you're not ready for him to), you go look for 'it' somewhere else... so you get your puppy H to be your lapdog wolf... now you want him to be puppy and accept the bone you are throwing him for his good performance.
This is what we were talking about earlier in this thread... your H does not have the freedom to be Who He Is... OR... he never bothered knowing himself well enough to tell you Who He Was, or he doesn't have the courage, or something... I dunno
But anyway, when you start pulling your princess crap... he caves (and is miserable for it). When your H can no longer stand himself this way, things are going to blow up for you again... and the whole dam cycle is going to start all over again... until someone actually cheats or leaves.
My point to you was... you may be able to avert these cycles through fantasy and honest communication. But I'm thinking you are still pretty perplexed as to why he all the sudden changed... you're reluctant to try something that may get you the wolf you want if it means you might have to be a bit uncomfortable for the effort...
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That's why I said I'd eat you alive. You'd be throwing chairs against walls all over again.
Head scratch.... I could be wrong... but if I believe BF to be the man he says he is... you'd never get the chance for even the slightest nibble. (Not saying that to put you down, or any of your sexual abilities). And he will never allow himself to throw a chair, ever again. That's what he has said to all of us, over and over again. I actually believe him.
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I think you could be happier in your R if you could adjust a little to the woman you are with. I doubt you will agree with that Corri and that's ok. But I think in Any R/M, you need to make some adjustments if you want it to work.
Actually, I do agree with it. What I do not agree with, however, is that someone makes changes because I have demanded it. All that does is lead to resentment.
I did it for years to my H... demanded, demanded, demanded... he needed to be the way I wanted him to be so I could be happy in my marriage. Then I did understand that it was slightly more than just about what I wanted... I did go out and make changes... FOR ME... for my R... it still didn't make H happy. That's okay. I accepted him for who he was, exactly as who he was... and then realized, in order for me to do that AND STAY WITH HIM, I would have to become a person I didn't like being, a person I could not be. I did not like the me I was when I was with the person he demanded that I accept him as. And that's okay. Just because you accept someone as they are, doesn't mean you get to be with them. It doesn't mean you stop loving them. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is be honest enough to walk away.
I think your H is not booting you to the curb for this recent stint because it has finally gotten him out from under your thumb. You didn't want out of your M, you wanted your way...
I'm telling you, LFL, you'd better give this situation very serious brain power, some very serious consideration. I think it is wonderful that your inner glutton is so drunk with satisfaction that you can NOW finally throw your H a bone.
I think BF was encouraging you to consider the same thing... I don't think this similar advice is coming to you because he and I are so severe... maybe it's from experiencing the severity of divorce...
Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
I don't think you are hearing me. My H is not just doing what I want him to do. I'm not some "princess" as you stated, which really annoyed me by the way. My H is HAPPY right now. I know you don't want to believe that but it's true. I'm HAPPY. That seems to bother you. And I also think it is kind of mean to imply that our happiness will never last. And this, wtf,
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I think your H is not booting you to the curb for this recent stint because it has finally gotten him out from under your thumb.
I really don't see where you're coming from either, corri. And I hardly ever understand where blackfoot is coming from. Both of you tend to post in such a cryptic way.
Things are going well in LFL-land. Why not get off her case for a while, hmmm?
Boy I'm just really annoyed right now. Corri- I get what you are trying to say, I think. And I understand I have issues to work on in myself. But to imply that two people can't stay M unless they can both be Who They Are is just existential BS. I'm not the one D here, you are. I am only bringing that up to make the point that the way you imply I should go about MY LIFE is to follow these rules of Corri that I just don't think are realistic in the real world. People are not flawless. I was about to cheat on my H. But I love him and he loves me and we are working on it. That's all I can say.
I haven't read the developments here closely, but my guess is that the increased intimacy has to do with three things:
(1) increased authenticity on LFL's part -- regardless of how she got there, she came clean with H, laid things on the table, let him know exactly where she was and what she was willing to do (2) increased authenticity on LFL's H's part -- he came clean about being submissive and LFL didn't flip. (And no, I don't think *any* male is going to cop to being submissive unless he means it. I think that was a HUGE step for LFL's H that was probably a huge relief for him.) (3) LFL effectively bombed H. The bomb makes pretty much all bombees very much aware of what they are losing and very horny. Ask around on the other parts of DB -- having an increased sex drive right after the bomb is pretty normal.
It sounds like this is a real opportunity for LFL and her H to get to a place where they have a good sex life that lasts. The post-bomb sexual energy should be capitalized upon in a way that makes it lasts by continuing to increase authenticity.
LFL --be open to each other. Be vulnerable. Show yourself. Be accepting. This is what you've done in (1) and (2). Keep it up and combined with (3) I think you may wonder a year from now how you two could have ever been where you were a week ago.
I'm not trying to rain on LFL's parade, and I don't think I'm saying anything different than what she has said herself, be it in jest or not. A part of the HD/LD cycle is that things get better, for awhile. It's been discussed in numerous books. She's admitted on here what has happened, and she has also admitted that she doesn't know why it is different this time as compared to any other time. I'm encouraging her to stay with it... as it seems that she is more interested in having her H supply her with water, rather than learning how to dig a well.
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And I understand I have issues to work on in myself.
Not too long ago, you didn't want to work, on anything, remember?
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But to imply that two people can't stay M unless they can both be Who They Are is just existential BS.
I'm not implying that at all. You took your M to the brink of cheating. You want to go do that again the next time you hit a drought, by all means, have at it.
What I was trying to say to you is through this process, I think you inadvertently stumbled upon a truth about your H, one that maybe he can't even admit... if you don't want to explore, fine.
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I'm not the one D here, you are. I am only bringing that up to make the point that the way you imply I should go about MY LIFE is to follow these rules of Corri that I just don't think are realistic in the real world.
I'm not saying you have to live the rules of Corri, and mostly that is because I'm still trying to figure them out myself.
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People are not flawless. I was about to cheat on my H. But I love him and he loves me and we are working on it. That's all I can say.
It isn't about people being perfect or flawless. It isn't about you and your H loving each other. It's about the fact that you were about to cheat. I don't care. If that's what you want to do, go do it... I'm not judging you. I'm remembering your posts... you were going to go cheat, soldier boy canceled, so you decided to be honest with H, he started crying... you show up here, confused... next day, you guys hit it four times, exactly how you want it (a little angry)... you even state your confusion over it... but hey... now everyone is happy and working on it.
Great. So I'll stop. It wasn't my intention to be a downer... it's precisely because I am D that I am coming in and saying that if you were that close to throwing it all away, it would be very prudent of you to work on things while they are 'good,' cuz by your own words, you aren't real good at it when things aren't going your way. I don't know many of us that are.
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And I hardly ever understand where blackfoot is coming from. Both of you tend to post in such a cryptic way.
Just because you don't understand doesn't mean I'm being cryptic. I'm not trying to be mystic and withhold secrets. I'm not trying to 'fool' someone. It could be I'm just having a hard time being clear. After all, I'm not flawless.
I know I'm definately not WYSIWYG. However, I think H believes that he is. I will tell you that he isn't. In fact, I think he does a great deal of false advertising perhaps without even knowing it. He presents a What you see is what you get exterior and actively blocks people from knowing the interior. I can even sometimes guess as to what is going on down below his presentation and he will often agree, "Hhmmm, yes that seems right" but will never embellish any statements pertaining to his inner workings.
Tee hee. I think that might be where you are getting stuck.
You can get what you want... you've even said you can... you just don't want to. The thing of it is, you seem to only know one way to get what you want... and you don't want to do THAT one way thing...
I have NEVER believed that there is only one road to Rome. Nothing in nature has ever proved itself to be that way.
The fact that he doesn't want to embellish his inner workings doesn't mean he isn't telling you anything. His style of communicating is different than yours. This is where I think you need to take BF's advice and listen more to his actions, rather than his words (or in his case, lack thereof). Meaning... I think your language is alphabetic, and his language is more symbolic. That doesn't mean you can't communicate -- if you can get over the fact that he IS different than your preferred method. Hey, you may even find that a different method jazzes you more than you could have ever fathomed.
I think you can get what you want by giving your H what he wants. And he may not know what that is... or he may not know how to tell you... or he may be too scared...
I could be wrong... I just don't think that most people purposely misadvertise; but when they do... is it that they are being false, or that maybe we just aren't hearing what they are saying?
