I've read your original posting and have followed it with some interest. At first, I felt just like most other posters: "Get out now!"
But as I continue to read and see your story unfold, I can see there has been a lot that has been left out, or at least not owned by you.
Corri correctly points out that you have other VERY serious problems in your R and that "LACK OF SEX IS THE VERY LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS."
Let's see... You two are in your mid thirties and get engaged and understandably, throw your own wedding.
You, by your own admission, contribute nothing to the planning of this wedding and leave it all to her. Except maybe when you critisize her for overthinking on the selection of pens...
Now you go on to mention that 2 weeks prior to Christmas, she talks about wanting to visit her Dad, you provide some wise cracks about assuming and "silly me"... I wonder how that conversation REALLY went.
So now on your first Christmas as a married couple, you are kissing her and you "finally" get her interested in having sex with you. Within minutes after the act, you are out of bed and on the couch. Now you want to go to a movie and when she balks at that and tells you "she won't mind", you go by yourself! On your first Christmas! Hello?
You say she has told you that she doesn't feel safe talking to you and that you always try and listen, except when she starts attacking... (smartass) Is that when she opens her mouth? (/smartass)
Now to top it off, you talk about her "feeling safe". In your explanation, you tell us about how she makes 1/3 of your salary, you pay all these bills and her 10K ring... Something tells me she is well aware of all that regardless of you saying you NEVER throw this stuff up.
Look, I'm sorry to slam you with this 2X4 but you really need to take a good hard look at yourself. I am talking from experience. I blamed my exWife for all of our issues because of the lack of sex in out 22 year marriage. Now after 2 years of divorce, I can honestly look back and see all (or at least many) of MY contributions that lead us to that final point.
You are on your second marriage, I understand that you don't want to be twice divorced... What was the failure in that previous marriage? Any similarities?
From looking at this from the outside, I would have to tell you that I think your wife is a LOT closer to calling quits to this marriage then you are.
