You're NOT crazy. What you expect in a relationship is totally "normal." No magic bullet. Sorry. Counseling may help, because in counseling you work on your FEELINGS and it's your feelings that are the source of your distress. Do you see that? It's not your W's behavior; it's the fact that you want her behavior to be different and that you cannot change her. This is entirely legitimate and you're having a perfectly understandable reaction to her behavior. But it's YOUR reaction that is making you miserable. If SHE cannot change, then your reaction will either drive you away or make you nuts. Counseling can help you sort things out.
If she feels like a failure, then she has stuff to work on. Counseling may help her feel better, and that may or may not motivate her to change her behavior.
