Short - I thought my h was having an average affair at first, until, like you, I realised the things he said made no sense
Quote:
I started to look more closely at what he was doing, not listening to what he was saying all the time. When I did listen, I realized so much didn't add up. Wasn't rational, wasn't how he would act if he were rational. I thought he was happy, he wasn't.
But one thing I have learned is that some what they are saying makes a sort of sense - it gives a clue to what they are feeling. And there is also a chunk of projection, when what THEY are feeling they project on to us. I believe that my h was losing his sense of self, and a lot of his actions have been to try and establish himelf as an independent person. I have always been independent, and he has tended in times of stress, to become needy. This time he took his neediness to someone else. He would then say things like 'I am only valued by my children as your husband, not for myself's' Typical MLC pity party, but also with that inner core of truth . . .
