You were right about that date. We just found out yesterday, so my DIL said there was no point in trying to get it in the mail by midnight. So, do you know if the IRS penalties are so much per day or how that works? I'm afraid to ask anyone.
Sandi, I used to deal with taxes a few years back (I try to avoid them now...get it? little joke there...tax avoidance? ..oh never mind) Anyways, you can always call the IRS for help...I know, I know, "why would I want to call the Devil for advice?????" They WILL help you and they WILL work with you.
http://www.IRS.gov can get you all kinds of information, links, contact numbers etc... I'm not sure what your income is, but they have a program called VITA...Volunteer Income Tax Assistance..I think?? It's free! They've also got some other programs available for the elderly.
Dom have a program called VITA...Volunteer Income Tax Assistance..I think?? It's free!
That is the group I am connected with. VITA standards are, anyone that earns less than $40K can have their simple taxes done for free. Also look for AARP, low income and senior tax help in your area.
If you have a business, you have to use the simple schedule CEZ, so don't bring a shoe box full of receipts. You need to have a summary of expenses for all of your income, deductibles, and expenses. The volunteers will enter data from all of the W2's, 1099's, and similar forms.
There are about 4 levels to the test and a volunteer preparer is allowed to do tax returns he/she is qualified to do returns up to the highest level test s/he passed..
The basic test level is the beginning level and the foreign and military income it the higher level test.
Our group starts doing taxes for people on Jan 20. Last year one preparer did someone’s taxes for the last 3 or 5 years, but as amended returns.
Don't worry about saying the same things over and over again. I do that all the time. Guess that's just the way it is when it seems like nothing's changing.
I was talking to my dad. He takes serzone (something like that) for his depression. He said it works really well, just thought i'd throw that out there since everyone else seems to have an idea...
When i had to pay my taxes late, they worked it out so i had small payments to make. It was easy and they totally worked with me. I saved up some money and paid it all off early. I was amazed at how helpful they were (dealing with the devil and all... hehe). Do you have an idea of how much is owed? You could call them and they might even be able to give you an idea of what can be done to help.
Everyone is right about the dog. I'd tell GS that he has XX days to find dog a new home or you will. The dog deserves better and you deserve to have your yard back.
Not sure if anyone has brought this up, but there are some places that will buy your car from you and give you cash. if you do a search for "cash for cars" you'll get lots of listings. Don't know if this could help.
I hope you are doing alright today. It's too bad that you missed your H before he left. Don't let it get you down.
always thinking of you... ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
Thanks, it is complicated about the old cars. H has them tied up in bank loans he has made. That is another sore spot with me. My son and daughter talked to GS today about the dog, but he is still relucltant. I hate to have hard feelings over this and my H is not supporting my wishes....so once again, I'll be the bad guy. I always have been in my family and guess I always will be. Things have not started out as well as I had hoped for a new year and my H is still dragging his tail about getting anything done. My DIL told him she needed something in regards to some receipts before she could file the taxes and he still has not gotten it together yet. He doesn't seem on bit concerned about any of it....taxes, yard, dog....nothing.
So, goes my life. Anyway, I hope things will be good for you this year. Thanks for caring.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
talked to GS today about the dog, but he is still relucltant. I hate to have hard feelings over this and my H is not supporting my wishes....so once again, I'll be the bad guy. I always have been in my family and guess I always will be
Does "bad guy" mean the one who makes decisions and gets things done when they need to be done?
If so, clearly that IS your role, and in this group of people, that will continue to be your role.
OTOH, this is who your H is:
Quote:
my H is still dragging his tail about getting anything done
SOMETHING has to change. Here's an idea: change your side of things a bit. Instead of you being the one to nag and nag and suggest and wait for others to do things, then finally getting fed up and doing them yourself AFTER you've worried yourself into an ulcer... why not give one warning and then do what needs doing IMMEDIATELY.
For example, you say to your H or whoever: "The [blank] needs to be [blanked]. Either you take care of it by Tuesday, or I will have it hauled away/sell it/ burn it/etc." Then follow through!
So: "We've had a complaint from the city about the cars. Either you solve this problem by Tuesday, or I will have the cars hauled away and you can explain to the bank."
Same with the taxes, the dog, whatever needs doing that you are lying in bed all night fretting about!
Sandi, you cannot continue like this. You cannot change him. You cannot make him do what needs doing when it needs doing. He11, if the IRS doesn't motivate him, what makes you think YOU can???
Please, please, please take that dog to a new home where he can have a decent life.
I am serious...you have to worry about you in all of this too...it might be hard...and I am not recommending you D your H or hook up with OM again...but sometimes seperation can be a good thing...and a good motivator...no sure what your laws are there but if you could file a legal seperation to protect yourself...walk away from all this stress and get your own life in order...let H hit the bottom...file YOUR taxes...yes, financially it might hit but what is going to HIT YOU IF YOU STAY CONNECTED to all of this???
It is easy to say...let H deal with the yard, the taxes, the dog...or it is easy to say give them a deadline (like that worked for the city)and do it yourself...why MUST you be the bad guy???...give it back to them to deal with and move on...I have a feeling that will greatly change the dynamics of things...if not for everyone...at least for you...
Of course...these are my opinions...get some good legal advice and see what they say???...I think you need to do something different...besides "a wishin' and a hopin'"
imLin, if you remember, the main reason I did not walk away before was b/c I could not support myself. I know I could stay with my mother if I had to, but I don't want to do that. It was part of this kind of "stuff" that I have to deal with all the time that has done something to me over the years that was building to a peek when I met OM. (Combined with all the other things I've told you about.) I don't know how to explain it and if I try to talk to H about it, he just makes me feel like there is something wrong with me to act like that, or else he doesn't say anything at all and I leave feeling more hopeless than ever.
When I came home from work today, the guys had been trying to get some things moved. So, hopefully, the cars are on their way out of here. As far as the dog, my H isn't giving me enough support about it b/c I think he wants to keep it....not in a cage but if we could fence in the back yard. It's not like my GS is a little boy, he is almost 22 and it would cause a lot of hard feelings if I took it upon myself to give his dog away. I think the GS would just go get him back and then take him to his girlfriend's house and they would have to keep him tied and that would be much worse. I don't want that. Yes, it's my home, etc., but it's his dog. That is why I was hoping he would eventually give in and set it free.
I hope all of you that have been so wonderful in responding to this particular stitch will understand what I'm about to say here. But, it has surprised me to see your response to be as strong as it has b/c my H and I have went through much more serious things than this. Over these 42 years, I've had to deal with a lot of frustration b/c of the type of .....shall I say "personality trait" my H has. So, in a weird way, this is almost funny. Not really "funny", but just the fact that all of you came to my "rescue" like you did and took it seriously (which I appreciate so very much), but I think H would think it was kind of silly for everyone to be so "worked up" about it.
However, he still has done nothing about getting what my DIL needs for the taxes and doesn't seem worried about it. But, I have made the statement to my family and I will stick to it.....if he should do anything that would cause me to lose my home after all these years, I will go stay with my mother if I have to.
Years ago, I was about to go into a small cosmetic business and borrowed money to get it going. As soon as I deposited it into our checking account, the IRS grabbed it up b/c thay had placed a lean on our account and we didn't even know about it. That hurt me so badly. I had to pay back the money I had borrowed, plus the interest and the IRS plus late fees. So, I think I figured it to come out to almost 50% over what we borrowed that we had to pay back. And I resented him for distroying any chance of me having a start at that business. It's things like that that I have said before that rub down into the nerves after so many years when you don't see things getting better. I thought for a wile they were getting better, but now I think he was just borrowing money from the bank. So now we have everything we own hocked.....even those old cars, so guess that will be the end of borrowing for a while. The only thing, he keeps using our home for collateral. When he found out about the OM, he almost stopped working b/c he got months behind in the payments and I was so scared we were going to lose our home. That is when I told my mother that if it were to happen that I was through with it.
We were taught in our church that the H is to be the head of the home. Therefore it makes if very difficult for me to just over-ride him on major things like this. If he nearly had a stroke the day I took it upon myself to clean off his desk and throw out a lot of old papers (that was simply trash) then can you imagine what would happen if I stepped in and took over with all of this? I probably would be looking at D if I did it. I can see where I have sat back and let him get away with a lot of this b/c that was what I was trying to do......"let" him be the head of the home. But, I feel like we are going nowhere and just getting deeper and deeper in debt all the time. It is a sure thing that we won't be traveling and enjoying our retirement b/c there won't be any for us. The main thing I worry about is his health b/c I don't think he is going to hold out that much longer at what he does. When he gives up the painting.....I think that will be it. His social security check is so small that there is no way on earth we can make it on that and my income. I don't know how we could even meet the bank notes much less any of the other bills. It will take the rest of our lives to pay off our debt. If anything were to happen to him that he got seriously sick for a long time......I just don't know what I would do.
Thanks to all of you for advising me on what to do and I will continue to consider it. It was encouraging to see that at least the cars had been moved out of their "spot" even if they haven't been removed yet. I asked him how much time before the deadline was up (b/c they just gave us 7 more days). Now he is saying they told him that as long as it looked like we were "trying" to clean up around the yard it would be ok. I could pull my hair out at times. When all these books tells wives to accept their H's the way they are......do you think this is part of it? I have tried very, very hard to do that, but it is killing me.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Lillieperl, thanks for your concern. I am thinking that after this time, I will file seperate taxes. I don't know if that will make a difference or not, but like you said he is not going to change. He is dragging me down with him. I have stayed out of his "business" and let him take care of it, even when he had to borrow money from the bank against my wishes, I knew he had to deal with it the best way he could. However, I did not know until after the fact that the cars had been used for collateral on a note and that was why we couldn't get rid of them.
As I've told you before, in my heart I am independent, but in our M he is over me (according to the church) so I have to do what he says. That is hard for me! He doesn't abuse me or anything like that. He has been understanding about the Fibromyalgia (he wasn't for the first nine years, but he is now). He doesn't complain when I don't cook and things like that.....I've already told all this...so hush Sandi! What I'm saying is that he is not a bad person, but it is this type of crap that drives me crazy!
Having you and the others here on the board helps me to vent out my frustrations and save my sanity. It also helps very much to realize that I might actually have a legitimate reason to feel the way I do and that it is not all just "me" as my H would like for me to think! I would love to be able to do every thing you have told me to do! Really! But it isn't that simple. However, it is giving me some things to think about.
Read what I posted to imLin about the dog. I don't want to make things worse for the dog and if GS gets angry enough, he could take him somewhere else to keep that would be a lot worse than what he has here. At least we do take care of him. I just hate to see it in a cage. An animal like that should be free to run and play.
Thanks for listening to me. I hope I don't disgust you to the point of giving up on me. It's not that I don't have the spunk to do what you suggested.....but that spunk has gotten me into trouble in the past and has caused me to slow down quite a bit before I act on anything.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
