Let him move at HIS pace, dont' ask him to say the night, dont' try to solve things for him, let every decision he makes his own.
The thing is, he told me he wanted to move at MY pace. He doesn't think he deserves another chance and says he can't expect anything from me. For example, when he came home at Thanksgiving we met up and I said "do I not get a hug?" He said "yes, but I wasn't sure if you wanted me to." He is so afraid that I don't want anything that he won't initiate anything. He actually had stayed the night with me already about 4 nights so I didn't see anything wrong with asking for one more night. Granted, when he said no I should have let it go. I am working on that.
I agree that I should stop trying to solve things for him. This is a problem I have always had with H. I come to his rescue. It has been that way since day one. I am working on that too.
