Yeah, chasing doesn't work. Hard to GAL though. Simple things like getting a car tag just brings up memories. Sure do wish the days of torture would hurry up and go by while I GAL. I know she will change her mind one day. I just hope she will be able to express it and try. I know some WA's never do. Here's hoping my darkness will continue and bring change to the sitch. One week down...at least 2-3 more to go...
Think positively. Focus on yourself. I know I keep saying the same thing. In some ways it probably helps my situation to keeping telling you this, but it is true for both of us.
Trying to...thanks for reminding me. Spending some time now looking at real estate. Yeah, I'll try to be positive. Remind myself that we were together 15 years and it just doesn't get erased in a short period of time. Like a friend tells me, make a decision where she is not part of the equation. Much easier said than done.
Was going to look at getting a different vehicle but the title of my truck is in both our names. So, that is not likely to work at least not yet. Heck, maybe go look anyhow. They don't charge you to look. lol.
Don't want to afford new vehicle. The one I like is about 4k more than what I would trade in. Don't think I like that option. I sure would like to not have to look at the pain I caused her when I see the one I have though. I realized something this morning. Because WAW has put every bill, including credit cards in her name, I have no debt, except student loans. So, if I do find a home to buy I will be in good shape at the bank with the exception of her absence. Oh well, just trying to get through another day. So, blasted difficult in this rural area to find something meaningful to do.
Nothing else to really report, darkness does not exactly give me something to look at regarding WAW.
Well, my attorney called me yesterday afternoon. First topic was why their retainer was higher than quoted in early December. Attorney said it was because WAW is not willing to change anything in papers. WAW has no grounds to win but according to my attorney WAW is going file fault anyhow. This is same thing attorney told me month ago, but attorney said they had contacted WAW's attorney yesterday to verify this information. It was a very short conversation. Attorney recommended me contacting WAW to see if we can work on things, which is counter to me leaving her alone.
Thoughts - 1) If WAW was going to file fault why wait so long. WAW sent no-fault on 11/19. WAW and I talked on 11/28 discuss the contents and agreed that 6 of the 12 things needed to be changed. I am unsure if WAW has contacted her attorney regarding proceeding with any action. So, my attorney may be talking to her attorney with old information. 2) WAW agreed to meet again to discuss things at least 3 weeks ago, wonder if that is an option still. 3) If I don't get papers today, then I don't expect to get them until at least Thursday next week because I will have 5D. This assumes WAW is just going to be hateful and send them anyhow. 4) Seriously considering breaking darkness and sending WAW an email, instead of letter, explaining why I was unhappy before, what I am doing to be happy now, my dreams (which she shares), how my unhappiness was never about her, perhaps apologize for the things that she deems the last straws, and to say that although I am happier now and I am striving for dreams and goals they are not as important without her. I also think I should add a thought about meeting to discuss things. 5) Contacting her would break darkness, but emailing her would be something different. I imagine it just seems to her like I am ignoring the sitch by doing nothing. We have not discussed anything of merit for about a month. 6) Sister says I should fight back and make her feel my pain. I have grounds and could try to fight for 5D. I do not see how this would do anything but push her further away. But I cannot lose the war for my family and the battle for my 5D also.
JMW, My opinion, no e-mail. She already knows all that. It's time to take off the gloves and fight for what you think is right. Don't go overboard but don't roll over. Maybe just maybe she will respect you more for that. Ifyou think it will help, call her and tell her you want to resolve this amicably and need a face to face. Just my humble opinion reading your posts. Keep your chin up.
I guess I don't understand. I thought she might read it and reflect on my changes and reflect on how I feel about the last two straws if I apologized in writing. However, she might already know that as you say and it might not mean anything. A part of the point of the email was to throw in the idea of resolving the papers amicably and to talk face to face. I doubt calling would be the proper way. Like I said earlier, I've really not done anything in a long time to do anything significantly different and this would be something different. I do see some of your point, maybe just remain dark, if it happens it happens.
I also don't get the "time to fight". How do I not go overboard especially when the fighting is over 5D. All I want is equal time. I told that I wanted equal time with 5D months ago, but she will not change the paper language. She says that we will continue to do the current equal time arrangement, but as I have said the papers need to say it. Seems like my only fighting option is to file fault which does not seem the way to go. However, it would make her feel like I do and certainly not a doormat. Don't think it makes me an attractive option however.
