I think it says that you on some level derive your self worth by being needed by her, by being her rescuer
Hey, another light bulb moment! Thanks.
I do see now how I fed on her wanting me to be her daddy. Made me feel good. Only I thought I was doing the family leader and protector role, not a daddy role.
I was very blind. And when she pulled away from her needing me, as she shifted focus to the kids, I took it personally and tried to keep her in the 'nest' - her being dependent on me. She was dependent on me doing things/decisions and I was dependent on being "in charge" and doing for her.
Duh...........
Of course it came back on me since she would not work on herself to resolve her "need" for a daddy. No wonder she thought me controlling.
Duh...........
It all fits. And now she lost her mom and is now looking to me again for emotional support and validation.
