piecing for real

[limbo]

Thanks for that reminder Cat!

I think that we may have had a bit more of a break through last night! We were doing our dialogue question...it was how do I feel when you say no.
It ended up being a pretty big issue especially for me, H does say no to things that I would like to do without discussion or thought really.
So I gave examples, and explained how is makes me feel unimportant, I used our up coming trip as an example, H wants to go to disney again, and I would like to go somewhere else. I said that he knows that it has been a bit of a dream of mine to go to memphis(I know lame), he says I have no intrest in doing that, which allowed me to explain, that even if its something he may not like to do, because its something he knows is important to me that he would be willing to give it a try.
I pointed out that I am really nervous about riding motorbikes, however because its important to him, I am willing to give it a go.
So the light bulb went off for him, he got pretty upset, but not in a bad way, he was upset as he said because he never realized how selfish he has been! He was really getting down on himself, and I was able to turn it to the positive.
I pointed out that if this had been 6 months ago, he would have gotten really pissy, and probably sulked for days, however this time we were able to really talk about it, and we both acted like adults, and saw it for what it was.
At which point I think we was pleased how in fact we did handle this, and its really showed us how far we have come, he will take this heart and make a change for the positive, whereas before he would have sulked for days, and nothing would have been resolved.

So Retrouvaille is still helping us big time, it does give you tools that you don't stop building on....H and I have never been able to communicate like that in our entire marriage!