Do you know about the five love languages? Do you know which is his? Maybe he wants things both ways, and maybe the prospect of actually moving on to divorce and losing you frightens him. If you can show him that you're strong and capable without him, while using his LL to let him know it's ok to give up the OW, maybe you can get out of here with your marriage intact.
Thanks,
Joe
Thanks for replying guys. I have the 5LL and was just showing it to MIL the other night (she was talking about a book she wants both of us to read so I showed her this one plus His Needs, Her Needs). I'll have to double check h's LL but I'm pretty sure it goes like this
1Quality Time 2Physical Touch 3Words of Affirmation 4Acts of Service 5Receiving gifts
Problem is. Quality time. Well...he had thrown himself into his job and was living elsewhere and the nature of his job meant that he would be working when I wasn't so it was hard to plan time together. I would want to plan ahead but he would never commit to that.
Physical touch. Well. He's getting it from somewhere now. Once I realised how serious things were I tried to give him more sex and I've always been touchy feely but I often felt a huge lack of affection and romance from him. It was more about grabbing my a$$ or b00b than a shoulder massage.
I probably didn't appreciate him enough for the work he did in looking after d while I worked away. The thing is though, he would never tell me about the hard times. It was like it was a pride thing to not let on that he was struggling or was lonely.
so...that's that. Joe, when you say 'maybe he wants things both ways', do you mean that he wants to have me and also have a g/f or did you mean something else?
