Kissak, Thanks again for the kind words of encouragement. I feel like everytime I have the urge to give up, there is another sign someone/something/or GOD sends to me to keep pushing me through this as I just feel that he and I are meant to be together in the long run and will have a more open and understanding relationship w/each other as a result. You were my sign tonight, to stick it out and to be patient. I actually do feel really good about that decision, despite what others have been saying.THANK YOU!!!
I have always wanted and dreamed about having kids with him and we had previously planned on waiting until we were 30 (which will be really soon for us both). Now that dream is so crushed, and I guess that I will have to wait and be thankful for our dog and 2 cats. I cant imagine how you must feel whenever he has the kids right now as they are so hard to trust while in MLC. I really feel for you and try to keep your guard up/put your foot down when you are uncomfortable with a sitchuation/ set boundries.The kids are the most important!
I have also gotten to the point of acting as if he is/was dead (it sounds terrible, but we've been so hurt & rejected by them that we begin to think it would be easier for us to have handled)
I felt (and I even told him 3wks after he left me the first time)like he all of a sudden had really died. I couldn't find him for 3wks and he kept hanging up on me or not answering my calls. When I had told him how I felt, he said with a grin, "no, I am still very much alive, and your just acting like a victim", then he handed me the seperation papers he had drawn up 3 days after he left me. I died inside. It was the biggest shock of my life, as we had blue prints drawn up the week before he left me to go build a new home together. Talk about messed up!
This evening was pretty fun, I got home from work and came to the boards, then @ 7;00 I went to my friends to watch a college b-ball game(our team won, YEAH) and it felt good to talk to people instead of sitting around All night being lonely. Luckily I do have A LOT of things to do(GAL-which I have always felt I have had no problem with)and lots of friends to visit and a very supportive family system (even his family supports me & my decisions, as they feel he has just lost it).
What do you suggest in terms of talking/or not talking to his family about the whole situation. His Mom is so supportive and calls often to check on me. She wants me to go over to their house once a month for dinner. I did this last time for the 4 months he left me before, and everytime we would have dinner-it would be a tear-fest. Not to mention, I feel I have had to spill all of our dirty laundry to them as we were all trying really hard at first to understand why he was leaving. Its hard to be strong in front of them, as I love his family and all the things we have done all together.I do often feel very good after talking to his Mom especially, as she is an angel sent straight from God! Any thoughts?
Thanks for the renewed hope your giving me, Tipper