I am so sorry about your D, but she's inherited your genes so she will recover.
I see your H is in fear. I was talking to my friend tonight, the one who recently discovered the betrayal and she said something very wise. Her H is worried now about what others will think. It seems they get so comfortable about our understanding that they don't worry about their mistakes. But now her H is worried about the judgement of others, she's decided to let the world know. And it has pulled him to a different light. So now she's not the villain. He can see himself through the eyes of the other ones that are not so close but do love him and wish him the best. I think that's what is happening to your H. And I wish that if fixing your R is the best for you both, he doesn't take action too late.
One of my ex-bosses just told me he divorced, he told me that once he's been around after retirement his wife couldn't put up with him. I thought it was so sad. To learn the love of your life was really close and you let them scape. That's true loneliness.
So, my wish for this New Year is that we realize the best achievement is that we know we can be happy, that anyone around us deserve happiness, we did anything possible and we didn't let anyone get in or way. We fought as warriors do. What could be a greater accomplishment?
